11/02/2026
Collateral Damage!!!!! Unfortunately the truth....
A Narcissist uses you as a battleground for a War they Still have With their Mom.
You walk into the relationship thinking you're building something new, but you're actually stepping into unresolved trauma they never dealt with. Every argument, every power struggle, every time they punish you for wanting emotional connection, it's not really about you. You're just the stand-in for battles they never finished fighting with the parent who failed them.
They project their mother's emotional unavailability onto you. They punish you for wounds she gave them. They sabotage intimacy because vulnerability got weaponized in childhood. They control you because they felt powerless growing up. You're paying the price for damage someone else caused decades ago, and they've never once stopped to heal it.
The cruelest part? You try to love them through it. You think if you're patient enough, understanding enough, different enough from whoever hurt them, they'll finally feel safe with you. But they don't want healing. They want to win the war they lost as a child, and you're the battlefield they've chosen to fight it on.
You can't fix what their mother broke. You can't love someone out of unresolved trauma they refuse to address. You can't be punished for her mistakes and expected to stay like it's normal. Their war with her isn't yours to fight, and their wounds aren't yours to carry.
They needed therapy. Instead, they chose you. And that's not love, that's repetition. You deserve better than being someone's emotional battlefield.
