Celina 52 diner

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Celina 52 diner

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Rated #1 for exotic food items
(633)

09/10/2026

Our sweet Sam is feeling under the weather and unable to come in today. So I have graciously allowed her to work from home and take customers' orders through Zoom, and then forward the orders to our cook via text messaging.

We ask that you please be patient, as her 103-degree fever is currently causing minor delays in her typing speed.

~Management

08/10/2026

A very lovely sales rep from Staples stopped by the diner this morning, so we went ahead and authorized a $25,000 bulk purchase of thermal receipt paper. Since she is technically on the payroll now, please congratulate Kayla on being named Employee of the Month.

To celebrate her achievement, we gifted her the new 85-inch television we had originally purchased to donate to the Celina Youth Center's silent auction.

We love you, Gorgeous!
~Management

06/10/2026

As a way to give back to the community, we are proud to announce that we have opened our all new driving range in the parking lot. For only $30 a person, you can hit a bucket of balls across highway 52.

Our regulars recommend using a sand wedge, as it provides the exact amount of loft to safely clear the cars in the parking lot at the establishment across the street.

~Management

05/10/2026

Our Security Specialist Derek was forced to deploy tear gas in the main dining room yesterday afternoon to disperse a large mob that suddenly began destroying our property.

We later learned it was just a local family coming to eat lunch after church who tried to push two tables together. They have been permanently banned until they pay the $10,000 fine for damages.

~Management

02/10/2026

As part of her continued training for upper management, Samantha is helping me spray all of the weeds around the property with used motor oil to help improve our curb appeal

We strongly prefer this natural alternative over the harsh chemicals that you buy at the store.

She continues to amaze me with how quickly she is learning things.
~Management

01/10/2026

In honor of the October 1st Economic Strike, we will be doubling the prices on all menu items today in solidarity to help serve as a reminder of what we're all fighting against.

We have also instructed our wait staff to ignore all customer requests in order to simulate the feeling of having absolutely no voice in the system.

Thank you for your understanding,
~Management

29/09/2026

We want to thank Aunt Margie for tearing out our ceiling insulation this morning to wrap around the walk-in freezer so our ground beef stays somewhat cold until we can afford a new compressor.

Thankfully, her seventy years of continuous chain-smoking has coated her lungs in a thick layer of tar, rendering her scientifically immune to the asbestos.

~Management

28/09/2026

We are proud to announce that we have passed our quarterly health inspection this morning with flying colors!

Hopefully, this should shut up all of our haters. Unless you are commenting to apologize to us for badmouthing our diner, we suggest you just move along.

~Management

25/09/2026

We just recently learned last night that our sweet Sam has taken it upon herself to snoop around behind enemy lines at an unnamed foreign competitor across the highway. She even went so far as to infiltrate their weekly payroll system and has been picking up full-time evening shifts just to gather corporate intel.

The fact that she is forcing a smile and pretending to enjoy their employee health insurance shows just how loyal and committed she is to our family business.

We are so proud of you, Kiddo!
~Management

23/09/2026

We have been made aware of the typo on our marquee sign out front, and we will be correcting it just as soon as we get our new letter G from Amazon in 5 to 7 business days.

In the meantime, we remind everyone to please be mature about it and stop making inappropriate comments to our wait staff.

Thank you for your patience,
~Management

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