08/18/2026
Next Tuesday… It’s time to stop screwing around. COBRA turns 40 this year, and you better goddamn believe we’re gonna celebrate it. Wade’s Movie Bag is back in the building and we’re gonna watch the s**t out of this bombastic Stallone vehicle where a hyper violent super cop takes on an army of serial killers in order to protect a supermodel.
As advertised, there’s 52 deaths in 87 minutes; about one every minute and 40 seconds. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to drink as many b**rs and eat as much delicious pizza as humanly possible.
Get there by 7pm for a lengthy
Stallone-focused trailer reel, and get ready for your ass to be thoroughly kicked by 7:45ish. And stick around afterwards for some bonus Stalloneified content! Crime is a disease, meet the cure.