10/09/2026
🚨 POUR LARRY’S SPOTLIGHT OF THE WEEK 🚨
🍻 MEET CHRIS 🍻
Our security guard, && part-time bartender, and on-again, off-again boyfriend. (It’s complicated. HR has stopped asking questions.) 🚩😂
Straight outta Ol’ Effingham County, Chris has been putting up with our bu****it for almost 2 YEARS! 🖤
🥃 Favorite Shot: Rumple Minze — because apparently drinking liquid toothpaste tastes like what dreams could be.
🖤 Favorite Hobby: Getting rage-baited by his manager. It’s practically a love language at this point. Customers have started participating at this point.
👻 Haunted Basement Scare Tally:
* Chris: 0
* Manager: 28
At this point, the ghosts aren’t even haunting him. They’re just watching him get bullied by management.
Despite the emotional damage, Chris keeps showing up, pouring drinks, keeping the peace, and occasionally pretending he doesn’t like us.
🍹 COME SEE CHRIS! Ask him to make you his famous SCOOBY SNACK SHOT! Grab a drink, talk some Braves or UGA football.
💀 And remember, ladies… he’s single until his manager needs something moved, fixed, or someone thrown out. Then suddenly he’s OUR boyfriend again. 🚩