05/07/2023
The flowers are in bloom but my mind is as always in turmoil. I struggle daily with my self-worth and my suicidal ideation. More and more it feels like my haphephobia is taking over uncontrollably. There’s times when the touch of my kids even sends my mind spiraling. I feel like I’m failing, in life, love, happiness, and business. I want to quit everything to avoid what feels like inevitable disappointment. It’s stressful to be called a quitter because I know I am one, and being called one feels like affirmation that I should quit. I wish for support, but I know better than to expect it. It makes it harder to dig myself out and instead I just dig deeper.
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