Wagner's Ribs

10/14/2026

NEW QUEST!

Carl and Princess Donut have entered Wagner’s.

The dining room is full.

The kitchen is moving.

The dishes are beginning to form a small but increasingly organized rebellion.

The dungeon AI speaks.

“Attention, crawlers. A new employment opportunity has appeared.”

Carl looks up.

“What kind of opportunity?”

“Wagner’s is hiring 2 dishwashers and 1 or 2 servers.”

Donut jumps onto the bar.

“THIS IS WONDERFUL, CARL. WE SHALL RECRUIT A TEAM OF HIGHLY TRAINED PROFESSIONALS TO SERVE THE ROYAL COURT.”

“We need servers, Donut. Not royal servants.”

“THAT IS LITERALLY THE SAME WORD, CARL.”

A crash echoes from the dish room.

The AI continues.

“Dishwasher applicants should be dependable, hardworking, and unafraid of entering a room containing enough plates to qualify as a dungeon boss.”

Carl stares toward the dish room.

“Does the position come with protective equipment?”

“An apron!!.”

“That is not protective equipment.”

The AI ignores him.

“Server applicants should be friendly, organized, and capable of remembering who asked for ranch after everyone at the table claims it was not them.”

Donut nods.

“A RARE AND POWERFUL SKILL.”

Mongo screeches from beneath a table.

“MONGO IS APPALLED THAT HE CANNOT APPLY.”

We are currently hiring 2 dishwasher and one or two servers at Wagner’s.
Dishwashers need to be at least 16 years old. We are flexible with school and sports. Servers need to be 21 and older.

If you are dependable, ready to work, and willing to join our slightly chaotic party, stop in and fill out an application or send us a message.

Experience earns bonus points.

Surviving the dinner rush earns legendary status.

Please Like, Share, and Comment!

10/12/2026

I’ve been thinking about getting T-Shirts, sweatshirts, hoodies made up for merch. Would anyone be interested? If you’ve seen some of our past stuff, you know it’s normally. ..different. I have several ideas! But this on the back of a shirt seems pretty great.

10/12/2026

At 11:07 Monday morning, two men in black suits walked into Wagner’s.

They showed the manager a badge.

“We are investigating reports of unusual activity.”

The manager looked toward the kitchen.

“You are going to need to be more specific.”

They opened a file.

“Witnesses reported strange noises, flashing lights, and a creature consuming an impossible amount of food.”

The manager nodded.

“That could still be anyone here.”

Suddenly, a seven foot alien in a Vikings jersey walked out of the dining room carrying an empty rib plate.

One agent reached for his weapon.

The alien froze.

“I can explain. The Vikings are 5-0!”

The bartender crossed her arms.

“He ordered a full slab, a burger, two baskets of cornbread, and asked if we had dessert.”

The alien looked embarrassed.

“It was a long flight.”

The agents slowly lowered their weapons.

“Does he have identification?”

The alien handed over a glowing card written in symbols nobody could understand.

The bartender studied it.

“Birth year says 1846. He is fine.”

The agents sat down beside him and ordered ribs.

Before leaving, one of them pulled out a small silver device.

“Please look right here.”

A bright flash filled the room.

Nobody remembered the alien.

Nobody remembered the investigation.

Nobody remembered whose turn it was to do dishes.

Unfortunately, everyone still remembered it was Monday.

Come see us at Wagner’s. We may not erase your memory, but we can make Monday taste better.

Just remember, like, comment, and share!

10/09/2026

The phone rings at Wagner’s.

“Wagner’s Ribs, how can I help you?”

A strange voice answers.

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

The server pauses.

“I work in a restaurant. You are going to need to be more specific.”

“What?”

“Have you ever heard a ticket printer start printing and then just…not stop?”

Silence.

“Have you ever carried four drinks at once and felt one of them begin to slide?”

The voice becomes nervous.

“No.”

“Have you ever opened the cooler and discovered that something you personally put there five minutes ago has vanished?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Have you ever heard a manager say, ‘Can I talk to you for a second?’”

The caller begins breathing heavily.

“Please stop.”

The server smiles.

“You called me.”

There is another long silence.

Finally, the voice speaks.

“Fine. You win.”

“Great. Would you like to place an order?”

“Yes. I’ll take a half slab.”

“And what would you like for your 2 sides?”

Dramatic music begins.

The caller whispers.

“I wasn’t ready for another question.”

October is scary enough. Dinner does not have to be. Come see us at Wagner’s.

Remember to like, share and comment! Spread the stories!

10/03/2026

Going to be a beautiful day for Porters Perfect Pint! Have fun, be safe, don’t die. Get a ride home.

10/02/2026

We are in Halloween mode!

Every year we go all out, and this year we are doing it again.

If you have any picture of the past patio themes let’s see them! I’d love to post them throughout the month.

10/01/2026

WE’RE HIRING AT WAGNER’S RIBS!

We are currently looking for

2 busser, 1 dishwasher, 1 to 2 servers

We are looking for reliable, friendly people who are ready to work and be part of a great team.

If you or someone you know is interested, stop in and fill out an application or send us a message for more information.

Please share and help us spread the word!

Some basic info
We hire 16+ for bussers and dishwashers.
Dishwashers are at $13 and bussers are at $10 plus tips. We work well with sports and school.
Servers need to be 21+ have a liquor license and open availability.

10/01/2026

10/01/2026

The cameras begin rolling.

Donut is standing on the counter wearing a chef’s hat.

“HELLO, EVERYONE. WELCOME BACK TO PRINCESS DONUT’S TABLE. TODAY I WILL BE TEACHING CARL HOW TO PREPARE A MEAL THAT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE IT WAS COOKED DURING A PRISON RIOT.”

Carl looks at the camera.

“I was told this was Erik’s Table.”

“It WAS, Carl. Ratings demanded a change.”

I walk into the studio.

“Nope. We are not doing this again.”

Donut gasps.

“EXCUSE ME?”

“Carl, grab Mongo. Donut, put down the Parmesan. Everybody out.”

“THIS IS AN OUTRAGE. I HAVE PREPARED AN ENTIRE OPENING MONOLOGUE.”

I begin pushing Carl toward the door while he carries Mongo.

“Sorry,” Carl says. “She found the chef’s hat.”

Donut is still yelling as the door closes.

“YOU CANNOT SILENCE CULINARY EXCELLENCE, ERIK!”

The studio finally becomes quiet.

Then the system voice speaks.

NEW ACHIEVEMENT!

YOU RECLAIMED YOUR OWN COOKING SHOW!

Reward: One slightly damaged kitchen and a deeply offended cat.

I straighten the counter, look into the camera, and take a breath.

Welcome back to Erik’s Table, where we make affordable meals with simple instructions and significantly fewer dungeon related incidents.

This week, we are making Creamy Cajun Chicken Pasta.

09/29/2026

Many years ago we sold pizza.

And not so many years ago we had a Mexican restaurant.

My question is pizza or tacos?