06/20/2026
Listen, we all know Dad doesn't actually want another tie, a "World's Okayest Father" mug, or you attempting to cook breakfast and setting off the smoke detector again. Give the man what he really wants: absolute silence, an endless mountain of meat, and a drink before noon at Deb's Spare Time Bar & Grill.
The "Please Don't Make Me Cook" Father's Day Buffet
* The Mandatory Attendance Date: Sunday, June 21, 2026
* The Feeding Window: 9:00 AM – 12:30 PM (Set an alarm, he’s already been awake since 5:00 AM anyway)
* The Location: Deb's Spare Time Bar & Grill
* The Cost of Forgiveness: A mere $12.50 per person
Dad's Sanity Savers (Drink Specials):
* 🍹 $1.00 OFF Bloody Marys – Basically a salad in a glass, so it counts as health food.
* 🍊 $1.00 OFF Screwdrivers – For when he realizes he has to spend the whole day with the family.
The Mountain of Food:
* Scrambled eggs (expertly cooked by professionals, not you)
* Bacon & sausage (crispy enough to drown out any complaining)
* Smoked ham (because two types of pork aren't enough)
* Cheesy hashbrowns (the only thing keeping this family together)
* Fresh fruit (mostly just decorative next to the bacon)
* Desserts (to sweeten him up before you ask to borrow the truck)
* ...and a bunch of other stuff he won't have to grill himself.
Do the right thing. Show up, load your plates, and let Dad enjoy a morning where nobody touches the thermostat.
