Speakeasy Pizza

06/13/2026

🚀 SATURDAY TRANSMISSION FROM THE MOTHERSHIP 🚀

It’s a gorgeous day on historic Congress Square, and against all odds, the Knuckleheads showed up and the oven is hot.

🍕 Wood-fired pizza
🍺 Cold drinks
🌞 Extended veranda seating is OPEN

If your weekend plans include mowing the yard, cleaning the garage, or being productive in any way, we’d like to offer a better option.

Join us from Noon until 8-ish for pizza, cold beverages, and the usual level of professionally managed chaos.

Come hungry. Leave happy. Question your life choices on Monday. 🤪🍕🍺☀️

06/12/2026

🚀 FRIDAY HAS ENTERED THE CHAT. 🚀

After surviving another week of meetings that should’ve been emails, traffic that made no sense, and people who still reply-all, you’ve earned a reward.

The Mothership is locked, loaded, and running at full pizza-producing capacity. The Knuckleheads have been given their daily instructions, which they will almost certainly ignore, but the oven doesn’t care—it just keeps cranking out wood-fired goodness.

Tonight’s game plan:

🍕 Amazing pizza
🍺 Cold beer
🥃 Bourbon therapy
😂 A healthy dose of Congress Square shenanigans

Remember, calories consumed on Friday don’t count until Monday. That’s science. Probably.

So gather your crew, abandon your responsibilities for a few hours, and report to the Mothership for the weekend kickoff.

📍 Historic Congress Square
🍕 Open Noon–8ish
🚀 Come hungry. Leave happier. Repeat as necessary.

06/11/2026

Thursday is the most underrated day of the week.

No Friday crowds.
No weekend rush.
Just good food, cold drinks, and your favorite local spot doing what it does best.

The Mothership is open and ready for another evening of laughs, conversations, and the occasional bad decision that starts with, “One more won’t hurt.”

Come hang out with us on Congress Square.

Life’s too short to spend Thursday on the couch.

06/06/2026

🚨 SATURDAY TRANSMISSION FROM THE MOTHERSHIP 🚨

It’s a beautiful Saturday morning on Congress Square, the sun is shining, the coffee is flowing, and against all odds, the knuckleheads have successfully unlocked the doors and opened the Mothership.

Scientists remain baffled.

The farmers market is buzzing, the town is alive, and somewhere inside the Mothership, someone is already asking questions that absolutely cannot be answered before caffeine.

Today’s forecast:
☀️ 100% chance of good food
☀️ Scattered laughter throughout the day
☀️ A slight possibility of knucklehead-related delays due to excessive storytelling
☀️ Zero chance of anyone leaving hungry

Our crew has been given strict instructions:
✅ Feed the people
✅ Be moderately responsible
✅ Don’t accidentally start a committee meeting
❌ Chase squirrels through Congress Square
❌ Press mysterious buttons labeled “Do Not Touch”
❌ Adopt any more emotional support raccoons

Whether you’re headed to the farmers market, out for a stroll, or simply looking for a refuge from adult responsibilities, the Mothership is standing by and ready for duty.

Come see us. Bring your appetite, bring your friends, and if you happen to see any knucklehead shenanigans, just remember… they’re a feature, not a bug.

👽🍕🚀 The Mothership is open. The crew is caffeinated. The universe is healing. 🚀🍕👽

06/05/2026

06/05/2026

🚨 FRIDAY HAS OFFICIALLY CLOCKED IN 🚨

After a long week of pretending to be productive, avoiding responsibilities, and surviving whatever that weather was doing, you’ve earned a reward.

The Mothership is fueled up, the ovens are hot, the drinks are cold, and our crew of highly trained knuckleheads is standing by to serve you food that’s significantly better than whatever is currently melting in the back of your refrigerator.

Today’s agenda:
✅ Ignore yard work.
✅ Postpone adulting.
✅ Eat something delicious.
✅ Tell yourself you’ll start being responsible on Monday.

We’ll be holding down the fort on Congress Square and waiting for your arrival. Whether you’re celebrating making it through the week or just looking for an excuse to leave the house, we’ve got you covered.

Come hungry. Leave happy. Question your life choices tomorrow.

🍕🍺🚀 The Mothership is open and ready for launch. See you soon, space travelers. 🚀🍺🍕

06/04/2026

🚨 THURSDAY TRANSMISSION FROM THE MOTHERSHIP 🚨

After extensive scientific research, our team of highly trained knuckleheads has determined that cooking dinner yourself tonight is a terrible idea.

Why spend your evening grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and questioning your life choices when you could be hanging out on beautiful Congress Square enjoying great food and cold drinks?

The weather is looking good, the ovens are fired up, and the crew is standing by for another mission.

So grab your friends, your family, or that coworker who owes you lunch money and report to the Mothership.

👽 Open today.
🔥 Food is hot.
🍻 Drinks are cold.
🛸 Excuses are weak.

See you on the Square. Resistance is futile. 🚀🍕👽

05/30/2026