Corner Deli

09/07/2026

Closed until 3 while Fatheads’ lawyer and two Ogdensburg seagulls attempt to seize the Big Boss under St. Lawrence maritime law.

Just kidding. Personal emergency. We’ll be back at 3.

08/17/2026

🚨 **WE’RE HIRING** 🚨

Qualifications are getting brutally complicated around here:

1. Can you **show up for work?**
2. Can you, and this is apparently the advanced portion of the interview, **show up for work?**

Pay starts at **$16/hour + tips**.

Must be:

* **18 years or older**
* Have a **valid NYS driver’s license**
* Able to work a schedule without having 14 other jobs, softball, bowling league, a standing 6 PM dinner reservation, and “something every weekend”
* Capable of actually arriving when scheduled

Experience is great. Reliability is better. At this point, if you consistently appear in the building when you're supposed to, management may become emotionally attached to you.

**In other news:** we closed early today.

Turns out staffing a restaurant requires staff. Fascinating discovery. Scientists are reviewing the findings now.

Apply at via Facebook message only!

Send a message to learn more

08/13/2026

Someone just reminded us that 2 inches is actually pretty big.

And believe it or not, you can have the whole thing to yourself. Or share it. We don’t care.

It’s 2026. We’re not judging what you do behind closed doors, as long as everybody’s consenting and somebody’s getting some.

PIZZA. We’re talking about pizza.

For TODAY ONLY, get 2 extra inches for absolutely nothing.

No pills.
No weird internet ads.
No awkward doctor visit.
Just a bigger pizza.

Corner Deli: giving Ogdensburg the extra 2 inches it apparently needed.

Please stop making this weird. We already made it weird enough.

08/13/2026

We owe another local business a genuine apology.

What started as one dumb burger joke somehow turned into theft allegations, a price war, missile references, international bread tensions, and Craig being promoted to a position he is absolutely not qualified to hold.

To be clear: **nobody stole anything from us.** There is a very real chance we “invented” the Ogdensburger by accidentally recreating something 400 other restaurants have already made.

Meanwhile, the owners’ kids are over there maintaining better foreign relations than we are because, according to them, they have:

**“the best coloring books”**
**“the best chocolate milk”**
and **lasagna soup** (probably not getting the recipe now, kid)

So while the adults were busy creating the **Ogdensburg Culinary Cold War**, the children had already negotiated peace through dairy products and crayons.

We apologized directly and genuinely got this one wrong.

We’re also **not deleting the original post**, because frankly we deserve to leave it up as evidence.

A warning to future generations.

A digital historical marker that reads:

**“Here stood several adults with Wi-Fi and no supervision.”**

Effective immediately, Corner Deli management will be implementing a strict new communications policy involving proofreading, waiting five minutes, and asking ourselves:

**“Does this thought actually need to become public?”**

Early projections are not promising.

Send a message to learn more

08/12/2026

**Ogdensburger V-2**
*(not a rocket)*

At this point, the list of things stolen includes:

* stuff from the Tiki
* our peace
* and now apparently the **Ogdensburger**

So in response to this escalating crime wave, we present the **Ogdensburger V-2**:

**8 oz, grilled onions, crispy bacon, AMERICAN TEXAS TOAST 🇺🇸, fries — $11.75**

Craig saw this and immediately abandoned every basic principle of restaurant profitability.

Are we making money on this?

**Absolutely fu***ng not.**

Are we doing it anyway out of pure petty spite?

**Absolutely fu***ng yes.**

**Limited supply, because weapons aren’t made overnight.**

Send a message to learn more

08/01/2026

Craig rolls fresh dough because society has not yet trusted him with electricity.

Fresh rolls daily at Corner Deli.

07/30/2026

Aaron’s working today, serving his favorite meatball sub extra sloppy.

And before he asks his usual follow-up question: no feathers were involved. We checked. We regret checking.

Come get food before this conversation somehow gets worse.

07/25/2026

🚨 DELAYED OPENING TODAY 🚨

We’re opening AFTER THE PARADE today.

Apparently opening the Deli while half of Ogdensburg is standing in the road watching fire trucks go 4 mph is considered “poor operational planning.”

So enjoy the parade. Wave at somebody you vaguely know. Get sunburned. Catch some candy that’s been thrown directly onto pavement.

Then come see us. We’ll have pizza. 🍕

07/11/2026

Screenshots work too boss

07/10/2026

What do the Corner Deli and whatever is happening in the world today have in common?

No clue. We don’t have a research department. We barely have a business plan.

But we ARE open today, and our homemade rolls with a Turkey Big Boss are only **$11.75**.

That’s stupid cheap. Not “owner won’t turn the AC below 74” cheap, but close.

Send a message to learn more