09/14/2025
Strange and wonderful how precious memories, lessons, and nostalgia can be linked to specific places. You may wonder what I could possibly associate with this fancy high rise condo across the street from the United Nations. I took the photo a few weeks ago while visiting New York. Seeing the building almost brought me to tears. It is where from 1973-76 and then intermittently thereafter I trained in Japanese Tea Ceremony (Chanoyu) with one of the living legends of tea. Milly-san (1900-1989) had been introduced to me by Alan Watts who predicted that she would become my spiritual grandmother. And she did.
Here is one of many anecdotes from those years.
Because Milly's tearoom was so close to the United Nations, the Japanese embassy often referred ambassadors and other dignitaries to her to experience the peace and beauty of Chanoyu. One day Milly invited me to a tea ceremony to honor two South American ambassadors. Just as Milly was about to begin cleansing the utensils, the peace of the tearoom was broken by the harsh sound of hammers and drills. Milly excused herself and went to the window. She saw some workers making repairs on the exterior of an apartment just a few floors above her own. Milly had a sudden inspiration. With no explanation and a brief bow, she gracefully and mysteriously exited the tearoom, explaining to the guests that she would return shortly. I had never seen anyone leave a tearoom in the midst of a tea ceremony!
A few minutes later the clamor of machinery ceased; perhaps it was the workers’ lunch break. How refreshing to finally be able to hear the hiss of water gently boiling in the tea kettle, like the sound of wind in the pines. As we sat, meditatively awaiting the return of our host, there was a rustling sound outside the shoji screen. Milly slid the door open and glided into the tearoom followed by the workers in their overalls and stained shirts. She announced, "We have some unexpected guests for tea!"
The new guests were softly instructed to remove their shoes and sit cross-legged on the tatami mats, next to the ambassadors. The ceremony proceeded but with a special feeling of companionship. Milly's spontaneous act of hospitality encouraged everyone to drop their defenses, to be present in their simple humanness. Tea Ceremony is, after all, nothing special, yet very special! Beauty found in the ordinary, satisfaction found in simplicity. Social roles, high and low, are checked at the door. Although there was no low, "humble entrance" for guests to crawl through, as in a traditional Japanese tea hut, nevertheless, in Milly's tearoom, all were equal and equally worthy of respect.