09/19/2026
Happy soggy Saturday, folks — if you’re out there splashing around Lakewood like a confused duck at Festi-Fall (10am-3pm), come on in where it’s dry and let us save the day.
Today’s edible mood‑boosters:
Prime Rib Dinner — because you deserve luxury after fighting the weather like it owes you child support
Haddock Sandwiches — which won’t be long because people swarm these things like a flock of seagulls who spotted unattended food.
Soup & Chili — for anyone who woke up and said “I need something warm before I say something I can’t take back.”
Ok… here’s the plan:
Go to Festi‑Fall. Buy a pumpkin you’ll absolutely forget to carve until mid‑November. Pet a golden retriever, wiener dog, or whatever random dog “floats your boat” today — I don’t judge.
Now, once you’re done pretending you enjoy being cold and damp:
Don’t make me come out there and drag you in like a drenched duck who made three bad decisions and a fourth one involving a puddle. And if you start quacking at me, I’m calling it a cry for help.
Get in here where it’s warm, eat something delicious, drink something fabulous, and stop acting like you’re built for swamp life.