04/27/2026
Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves - and How to Find Our Way Back ~ This is Book Treasure
I am Steven Shomler and in my April 26, 2026 Facebook post I talked the current phase of my personal growth journey which I have recently titled “Becoming Feral” and I alluded to a book that has been very helpful.
Fawning by Dr. Ingrid Clayton, PhD is that book.
Fawning is a profoundly wise LifeChange book I have been recently reading and it has been invaluable to my personal growth journey.
As many of you know – Fawning is one of the four trauma responses. The others being Fight, Flight, and Freeze.
One of the ways that the response of fawning is described in this book is “not having a voice because speaking up makes things worse” – Oof! That line hit me right in the gut.
I read books with a red pen and I underline when I come across sentences that speak to me. As I have been reading “Fawning” I have been underlining multiple sentences on almost every page of this book.
If I am being really honest - I feel embarrassment and shame as I read “Fawning” and see how encompassing the trauma response of fawning has been in my life.
I also feel much hope and encouragement from what I am learning in this very insightful book.
I have hope that I can experience healing as I learn to honor the ways that - from early on in my life - I went about trying to protect myself.
“Unfawning is a journey of self-reclamation. A journey of finding our voices, stepping into our authority, and finally living life on more of our own terms” – Fawning page 25
If anything about this book speaks to you – I can’t recommend it enough. For me reading Fawning feels like a watershed event in the Becoming Feral phase of my personal growth journey that I am currently in.
This is Book Treasure
I love books and moving forward – each week on the This is Book Treasure page I will be posting about a great book that I am currently reading or a cherished book from my past that was either very helpful to me – books like Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain & The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin or books that I have thoroughly enjoyed like Razorblade Tears by S.A.Cosby Author or the Hieronymus "Harry" Bosch books by Michael Connelly Books.
Last week’s This is Book Treasure post was about The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkien and I explained why it was “the most important book of my childhood”
If you also love books – you might want to go follow the This is Book Treasure page. I will put a link in the first comment.
by Dr. Ingrid Clayton
