09/17/2026
💀 SOLD. THE HELL. OUT. 💀
Once again, you absolute pastry predators descended upon the bakery and left us with nothing but empty trays, crumbs, and emotional damage. 😂
The cases have been pronounced dead at the scene.
Cause of death: YOU PEOPLE.
And we wouldn’t have it any other way. 🖤
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for another incredible day. Now we’re heading back into the kitchen to perform several questionable rituals involving protein powder, cream cheese, caffeine, and poor decision-making because…
🚨 TOMORROW IS FRIDAY. 🚨
Which means it’s END-OF-WEEK STOCK-UP DAY.
And you know the drill.
We’re loading those cases like a snowstorm has been forecast and Walmart just announced they’re never making bread or milk again. 😂
Buy something for Friday.
Buy something for Saturday.
Buy something for Sunday.
And then another for Monday.
Then buy another one because we both know damn well Saturday’s dessert isn’t surviving Friday night.
No judgment here. This bakery is a safe space for terrible snack-management skills. 🖤😂
And because apparently dessert chaos isn’t enough…
🔥🔥 TOMORROW’S LUNCH: PULLED PORK NACHOS!!! 🔥🔥
Tender pulled pork piled over crispy tortilla chips and smothered with all the glorious things necessary to turn a respectable adult into someone hunched over a tray whispering, “Nobody touch my nachos.”
They’re messy.
They’re loaded.
They’re probably going to require a fork eventually.
We respect that.
⏰ PLEASE PRE-ORDER BY 9:30 AM TO GUARANTEE YOURS.
Tomorrow we’re filling the cases.
Your job is to empty them.
Come stock up for the weekend, you beautiful little bakery heathens. 💀🖤
Deliciously Dark. Deceptively Clean.