09/28/2026
I had a suspiciously energetic young child march up to my office-table in the coffee shop yesterday. He stared right into my soul and announced, “Mister, you’re old.” Before I could even defend my honor, he added, “And kind of squishy!” I'm choosing to ignore the squishy comment, but the kid certainly didn't hold back.
Out of the mouths of babes come brutally honest health checks. Fine, I admit it: I am old. Well, not fossil-level old, but definitely "my back makes sound effects when I bend over" old. Maybe it’s time to finally listen to my creaking knees and slow down a bit.
I genuinely love what I do. Every customer who walks through that door brightens my day (even the little precocious, blunt ones). But reality is tapping me on the shoulder, reminding me that I'm not getting any younger—or lighter. So, after a few long discussions with my CFO, chief advisor, and partner for life—my wonderful wife, Linda—we’ve decided to tweak the coffee shop hours.
Starting Thursday, October 1st, our new official hours will be: Closed Mondays (for recovery and coffee-drinking of my own). Open Tuesday through Sunday, 8:00 AM to 3:00 PM. That gives us plenty of time to caffeinate the town while leaving me just enough energy to survive the evening.
Mondays will now be strictly reserved for binge-watching Hallmark movies with Linda. If I play my cards right and finish all my chores, she might even let me watch Sunday car race replays—provided, of course, that fictional small-town romance has been fully restored first!
Rest assured, our after-hours gatherings are here to stay! Whether you join us for Book Club, Warhammer battles, Prayer Groups, or any other evening activity, our complete lineup of after-hours events will all continue as scheduled.
On a more serious note, many of you are aware that Linda requires some extra support right now. When we took our vows, we promised to be together "in sickness and in health ... as long as we both shall live." With that in mind, the time has come for me to prioritize spending more time with my wife.