The Sassy Sasquatch

09/09/2026

9am-7pm

09/08/2026

09/04/2026

🦍 SQUATCH REPORT — SHORT DAY TODAY! 🍕💍

We’re OPEN 9 AM–2 PM TODAY ONLY!

🍕 Today’s special: FLATBREAD PIZZAS!
Hot, cheesy, crispy, and ready to disappear into your face. 😂

We’ve got a wedding to cater this weekend, so the Squatch crew is packing up the goods and hitting the road after we close today! 💍🍽️

🇺🇸 We’ll be CLOSED for the Labor Day weekend and back at it TUESDAY!

So get your butt in here before 2 PM today, grab some breakfast or one of those flatbread pizzas, and let us feed you before we go feed a whole wedding. 😂

Have a safe and awesome Labor Day weekend from all of us at The Sassy Sasquatch! 🍻🦍

⏰ TODAY: 9 AM–2 PM
🍕 Flatbread Pizza Special
💍 Wedding Catering This Weekend
🦍 REOPEN TUESDAY

09/01/2026

🍦 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE SQUATCH: THE ICE CREAM HAS RETURNED! 🦍🍨

After a brief disappearance that nobody authorized, ICE CREAM IS BACK IN THE FREEZER! 😂 And she’s loaded up with some damn good flavors:

🍬 Cotton Candy
🎂 Birthday Cake
🍦 French Vanilla
🌿 Mint Chip
🍫 Chocolate
🍪 Cookies & Cream
🍋 Lemon Bar

Get it in a cone, dish, shake, sundae, or whatever ridiculous ice-cream creation your little heart desires. ❤️

Having a bad day? Ice cream.
Having a good day? Ice cream.
Diet starts tomorrow? Perfect. Ice cream.
Kids driving you nuts? Buy them ice cream and enjoy 4 minutes of silence. 😂

🦍 Come get your butt down to The Sassy Sasquatch and grab a scoop before your favorite flavor mysteriously disappears!

Because apparently we’re adults and can have ice cream whenever the hell we want. 🍦😎

09/01/2026

🎰🦶 THE SQUATCH REPORT — THE GAMES ARE LIVE! 🦶🎰

Well folks… it’s official!

🎰 THE E-TAB MACHINES ARE ONLINE AND READY TO GO TODAY!

Come grab some food, crack open a cold beer, and see if Lady Luck is feeling generous… or if she’s just here to steal your lunch money. 😂

🍳 BREAKFAST:
Ham & Cheese Omelette

🍔 LUNCH:
Patty Melt & Fries 🤤

🍺 BEER IS FLOWING!
We’ve got a pretty darn good variety on hand right now, and more will be coming.

🥃 LIQUOR IS COMING VERY SHORTLY!

⏰ OPEN TODAY 9 AM–7 PM

And we’re not done yet. After Labor Day weekend, we’ll have new hours and a few more announcements coming your way. The Squatch keeps evolving… apparently nobody told him he was supposed to just sell breakfast. 😂

So stop on down, grab some grub, have a cold one, and TRY OUT THE NEW E-TAB MACHINES! 🎰🍺

THE SASSY SASQUATCH
Breakfast • Lunch • Beer • Games
…and more coming soon 👣

08/28/2026

🦍🍺 BIG THINGS ARE HAPPENING AT THE SQUATCH! 🍔🎰

📱 ONLINE ORDERING IS OFFICIALLY LIVE!

Order online, pay through Square, and come pick it up at the Squatch. Easy as that!

👇 ORDER HERE:
http://thesassysasquatch.square.site

🍺 BEER IS HERE!
We’ve got an assortment of cold beer on hand now, with more and more varieties coming as we get everything settled in. So yes, you can officially grab a beer with your burger, supper, or whatever else the Squatch is cooking up!

🥃 LIQUOR IS COMING VERY SHORTLY!
We’re getting everything lined up and will keep building out the bar as we go.

🎰 ELECTRONIC PULL TABS ARE COMING SOON!
Our electronic gaming area should be up and running shortly, and we’ve got a couple more things coming that we’ll announce soon. 👀

🌙 AFTER LABOR DAY = LONGER HOURS!
The kitchen will be staying open later, the Squatch will be staying open later, and we’ll finally start settling into the restaurant, bar & grill setup we’ve been working toward.

Things are starting to come together around here! 🙌

🍔 Online ordering ✅
🍺 Beer ✅
🥃 Liquor coming soon
🎰 Gaming coming soon
🌙 Longer hours after Labor Day

Come hungry. Grab a cold one. Hang out with the Squatch. 🦍🍺

📍 The Sassy Sasquatch • Hazen, ND

08/25/2026

🥩🐔 SQUATCH REPORT: CHEF’S CHOICE! 🦶🌲

The Squatch got ahold of some pita bread today… and naturally turned it into something that requires both hands and zero manners. 😂

🔥 STEAK OR SMOKED CHICKEN PITA 🔥

We’re loading up a warm pita flatbread with:

🥩 Tender steak OR 🐔 smoked chicken
🫑 Fresh peppers & onions
🧀 Your choice of Pepper Jack, Swiss, or American
😈 Then choose your weapon:
Garlic Aioli • Jalapeño Aioli • Mayo

And because handing somebody a pita without fries would be downright disrespectful…

🍟 It comes with a handful of French fries!

Come hungry. Leave full. Possibly with aioli on your shirt.
That’s between you and the Squatch. 😂

📍 The Sassy Sasquatch
⏰ Open 9–7 today

Come get your pita on before the Squatch eats the damn inventory. 🦶🥩🔥