08/25/2026
BREAKING NEWS JO DAVIESS COURTHOUSE - CHICAGO MAN FILES DIVORCE OVER RIBS
Ditches wife during Galena getaway for oak-smoked baby backs.
ELIZABETH, IL โ A Chicago couple's weekend getaway to Galena went up in smoke at Eager Beaver BBQ. Bradford Miller, 38, shocked the Jo Daviess County courthouse Tuesday by filing for immediate dissolution of marriage after refusing to get in the car with his wife, Brenda.
The reason? A stack of oak-smoked baby back ribs that caused a total "culinary awakening."
"Brenda wanted to beat the Sunday traffic," Miller explained to stunned onlookers, still clutching an empty takeout box. "I looked at the smoke rolling out of that offset stick-burner. I realized I couldn't go back to HOA meetings. The ring came off right between the third and fourth rib."
The breaking point reportedly happened when Brenda shoved a wet wipe at him and told him to "show some dignity" regarding the mahogany glaze and sauce in his beard.
"Dignity? That was caramelized bark, Brenda!" Miller shouted. "When she threatened to drive back to the city without me, I told her to have a nice life."
Miller has reportedly liquidated his savings to rent a small camper in Elizabeth to "be within smelling distance" of the pit. "Her lawyer calls it a mid-life crisis," Miller grinned. "I call it waking up to what matters. Pork is forever."
If you are willing to take the marital risk, dine in at Eager Beaver BBQ or order online at www.eagerbeaverbbq.com.