07/02/2023
"don't f**k around over here, we don't f**k around over here" - John Friel IV 2023
On 06/30/2023 at 10:29pm PSP Lykens Troopers responded to a welfare check in the area of Clarks Valley Road ,Dauphin at the Fabulous John Waters Resort & Casino . Through the course of the investigation it was determined to be a physical dispute between a ceo and another ceo of the faboulous resort and casino. Through interviews and scene processing the physical nature of this incident rose to the level of Attempted Homicide. Landis stated during questioning that he had been "wanting to be killin these hoes, and get on these nuts. Yall a bunch of John Waters b*****s". Through investigation it was determined that Landis was salty due to the fact that he was dumb enough to lock his wife and son out of there vehicle and had to drive back to unlock them. Upon return, his saltiness got the best of him when he realized the other 2 founders of the casino made burgers without him, thus for causing him to set off fireworks and scream "Biden didn't steal the election". He then tried to cause bodily harm to both of the founders by stabbing with rubber magnet.
Zachary Landis (30 M Enola) was transported to the Dauphin County Judicial Center for arraignment on Attempted Homicide and related charges.
According to court records on 06/30/2023 at 10:00pm Landis was arraigned in Dauphin County Night Court by Judge Lavon Postell, bail was set at $500,000 monetary which he was unable to post. Landis was committed to Dauphin County Prison and faces the following charges,
1. H1 Criminal Attempt - Murder Of The First Degree
2. F1 Aggravated Assault - Attempts to cause SBI or causes injury with extreme indifference
3. F1 Saltiness - Not being able to accept reality
4. M1 Idiocrisy
5. M2 Simple Forgetfullness
6. S Harassment - Subject to cheap fireworks
A Preliminary Hearing is scheduled for 07/09/2023
