09/08/2026
🚨 IMPORTANT DIRTY OAR ANNOUNCEMENT 🚨
We regret to inform everyone that after 9 years in business…
we are apparently old now. 👴🍺
We learned this Sunday after receiving a 1-star review from our Anniversary Party:
🧑🦳 “Lots of old people including the staff.”
🪑 “No where to sit.”
First of all, our thoughts and prayers are with our ancient staff, currently ranging in age from approximately 30 to 60 - Paul's turning 62 soon!! 😵
It’s honestly remarkable they were able to operate the taps without assistance.
Effective immediately, we will be looking into:
Walkers behind the bar
Handrails leading to the b**r taps
Werther’s Originals at every table
A weekly brewery search for everyone’s missing reading glasses
As for there being nowhere to sit…
Yeah. 😂
YOU PEOPLE PACKED THE PLACE.
Hundreds of you came out to celebrate our 9th Anniversary. The brewery was wall-to-wall, the b**r was flowing, people were laughing, and somehow our frail elderly staff survived the entire ordeal.
Barely.
So apparently Dirty Oar is now Cocoa Village’s hottest retirement community.
Come visit us soon.
We have cold b**r.
We have old people.
We may or may not remember why we walked into the cooler.
Cheers to 9 years, you magnificent senior citizens. 🍻❤️
P.S. If you require a chair, please arrive early before the other retirees.
**rCompany