06/26/2024
I think we all have certain memories that make us cringe no matter how much time has past. I walked to my high school graduation ceremony. It was hot out and I walked along the train tracks so no one would see me. Carrying my donated robe that I couldn't make look new no matter how much I ironed it. My biggest fear was getting there and no one seeing me walking by myself. As I approach the place I cross the road to get to my school, I wait to run across the road when there are no cars, not because I don't want to be hit but I'm terrified I'll be seen, alone. I make it to the school, unnoticed. The other kids start to arrive with their entourage of fans, family and others to celebrate their accomplishment. I'm alone. I remember the school sending us home with a letter limiting the amount of people each student could have to attend the graduation, obviously some families didn't abide by these limits. I made my way to the football field where all the students had assigned seating. In front of us was a stage filled with principals and dignitaries and behind us an overcrowded stadium of love and support, just none of it there for me. The ceremony was every thing you would expect. It started with some remarks by the Principal, some rules for the event. They asked the crowd to hold their applause when their
kids name was called until all the kids in that row were on the stage. Of course when they made this announcement I felt everyone was looking at me, somehow they knew there was no one in the stands to cheer for me. Next, some of my smart classmates got up and gave a few speeches. Now it was the time to recognize each student by calling their name and having them walk on stage to receive their diploma. Immediately it becomes clear the fans in the stands are not following the rules. Cheers and screams as each kids name is called in alphabetical order. I sit there sweating and fearing the for sure deafening silence that everyone will notice when my name is called. Finally it's my rows turn and as expected there were no outbursts or cheers but it happened so quickly and soon as the last kid in my row was called I would finally get the applause. My whole day has been consumed with trying to not be seen. With the ceremony coming to an end I have to try and beat the traffic. I need to get out of there and get across the road and back to the rail road tracks so I can walk home without anyone seeing me alone. I'm ashamed and embarrassed and even though I now know no one was looking at me to begin with, I race to get out of there. As I'm leaving I notice all the families hugging, tears, smiles and joy everyone has. As crazy as this will sound I feel invisible and I have a spotlight on me all at the same time. I make it to the railroad tracks without anyone seeing me walking alone. I have a lot of emotions on my walk back to my foster home. There is no party, no cake, no gifts, no envelopes full of well wishes and cash, actually there is no pictures, juat a feeling shame and embarrassment. A few hours later I walked over to a friend's house whose mom didn't put a lot of effort into throwing a party. It wss just me and my friends small family eating burgers and dogs.
Tonight we're going to honor a few local foster kids who have graduated, we got them awesome gifts, we will feed them amazing food and shower them with praise and love. Tonight is about them but it also reminds me that just because I didn't get it back then somehow I've learned how to give it now. Tonight is their night for their friends, family, supporters to celebrate. The only help we could use is financial if you want to help us pay for the event please stop in and eat or make a donation or both. Love you all .
https://secure.infinitegiving.com/gift/fk-u-corp
