07/07/2026
🧪❄️ SLUSHIE LAB UPDATE — TOP SECRET (ISH) ❄️🧪
So here’s what’s going on at Pide Pizzeria this summer…
We have slushie machines.
Yes. Real ones. Running. Working. And quietly changing the rules of July.
We’ve been testing recipes behind the scenes, and they’ll only be available to those in the know (and anyone brave enough to show up on Third Thursdays).
But here’s the twist:
🍷 The base wine we’re using has a unique sour finish
🤖 AI tried to solve it… and the result was, scientifically speaking, yuk
🧠 Humans stepped in… and suddenly everything changed
It turns out the “secret” isn’t avoiding strange combinations.
It’s balancing them.
Like Dr Pepper + Orange Soda—
Separately: questionable.
Together in the right proportions: weirdly, dangerously good.
Two wrongs don’t make a right…
unless they absolutely do.
We now have a refined slushie formula that turns chaos into something smooth, refreshing, and slightly addictive.
I’ve got about:
🍷 8 bottles reserved for the primary summer slushie
🍷 9 bottles for a second variation I’m developing in parallel
Between the two, summer is basically covered. If not, there are… dozens of backup experiments waiting their turn.
Availability:
❄️ Slushies will be available Fridays & Saturdays
❄️ On other days: order 4 and I’ll batch one up fresh
A few lab rules (non-negotiable):
🚫 No boba straws (brain freeze is a real operational failure)
🥤 Regular straws only
🧠 Self-control recommended for optimal enjoyment
🍷 Must be 21+ to participate in slushie testing
Price:
💵 $6 per slushie (slightly larger than a glass of wine)
All recipes have been personally vetted by me—and by a small group of people who have survived previous experiments.
Good news: they came back for more.