19/12/2024
Not All Blessings Are Addition – Some Are Subtraction
I've been waiting for this moment to share my wins this year, but as the saying goes, "The only constant in life is change." And if I’m being honest, 2024 has been a tough year. I started off strong, but towards the end of September, life threw me a curveball – I got laid off. This wasn’t just any job; it was with my longest client, the one that was the most dear to me.
Being jobless has always been one of my greatest fears as a mother. So, when the day finally came, I felt like I was crushed, down to my very core. I froze for a moment, and then I broke down in front of my client. All I could muster was a thank you. Thank you for those five years. Thank you for carrying me through the pandemic and the tough times. But beyond that, there was this overwhelming sense of loss, not just in terms of income, but in the role I thought I was playing in my own life.
Like so many mothers – those working from home and those working in offices – I had been juggling a lot. I was exhausted, angry, unmotivated. I wasn’t sleeping well. Perimenopausal symptoms were starting to hit me hard. I gained weight. My blood pressure would spike unpredictably. Our finances were a little off, and my schedule felt like a constant mess. I wasn’t in a good place, mentally or physically. But despite all that, I kept telling myself we were "secure, comfortable, and thriving."
And then, suddenly, I wasn’t. When I got laid off, I found myself with a lot of unexpected time. Time to sleep decently. Time to be with my son. Time to finally pursue my small business, selling Chicken Biryani, something I’ve always loved doing. I also had the space to reflect – to assess my role in my own suffering and consider what kind of value I bring to a company. Was I still the professional I once was?
Weeks passed, and man, job hunting is tough. There are thousands – no, millions – of people looking for work, all facing the same struggle. Then November came, and we had to make a big decision: to move out of my parent's house. That, combined with being jobless, started to strain my relationship with myself. My confidence took a hit.
After five or six years, I found myself applying for jobs again. I was on Indeed, Jobstreet, LinkedIn, Facebook, Threads, Instagram… you name it, I was searching. But as the weeks passed, all I received were initial interviews. I started to wonder if I was still good enough. Was I out of touch with what employers wanted?
But then, I decided to take a step back. I practiced, upskilled, and started to look at the trends. I found that I had to adjust, to learn again. And finally, job offers came pouring in. However, I had to make a choice. I had to choose a job that would give me time to focus on my health. I chose a day shift job, which was significantly lower than my previous pay, but the trade-off was worth it: I could sleep at night, homeschool my son, and focus on being there for my family.
It wasn’t easy to accept this decision. I felt guilty for not earning as much as I had before. But, as I reflect now, I realize that this change was a blessing in disguise. My body feels better, my blood pressure is more manageable, and I’ve rediscovered the joy of spending quality time with my son and my husband.
It was hard to see it at first, but sometimes, not all blessings come in the form of additions. Some blessings are actually subtractions. Not every "glow-up" happens because you add something new to your life. Sometimes, it’s the things that are taken away – the stress, the pressure, the expectations – that allow you to grow in the healthiest way.
This Christmas, we won’t have a big celebration with a flashy bonus or 13th-month pay. Our Christmas is quiet. No rushing. No flexing. No big preparations. Just the three of us, living peacefully in our new home, and I couldn’t be more grateful.
I’ve come to realize that we see the world as we are. If we choose to look for the good, we’ll see the good. If we focus on the bad, we’ll only find the bad. Yes, more money would be nice, and I’m sure I’ll get that money again someday. But for now, I’m choosing to heal. I’m choosing to rest. And I’m choosing to be present with the people who matter most. There will always be another day. And for today, that’s enough.
