Dear Self

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21/09/2025

Browsing in facebook, I saw my former close classmate with his complete and happy family. After high school, she decided to work and have his own family. While I'm continue my study and work to support my tuition. Then started a family too. She is housewife and his husband has no regular income. They are supporting 4 children and hardly stuggeling to finance. Likewise to me, graduated and had a regular income.

When I saw his picture somehow, I felt that I'm looser. She have a happy an dcomplete happy. Took there family picture. While I'm here, we spend a family time last time however cannot take family picture. Cause I know this is not a happy family and in a minute, hours or days I know we will not complete again. In that moment, I felt we're doing this for kids. To make them feel happy with their parents.

Then I realize, it's not about how wealthy you are. It's genuine happy inside as family, it's knowing the person beside you can protect you nor your enemy and your battle inside the room.

18/08/2025

I'm actually not okay

Kahit paulit ulit nangyayari.. sobrang nakaka drain na talaga

I'm choosing to be silence while shouting inside. Pretending to be a fighter everyday while dying inside.

17/07/2024

Regrets.. na baka ako nga, akonga ung dahilan bakit sya ngkaganoon. Na ako ung may kasalanan

Fear.. pangalawa na kasi sya, na sinira kong Buhay? Binago ko? Hindi na dapat.. Wala na dapat

Pity.. sa mga babies ko, same story again

Sorry Mama failed you again, I really tried so much Hindi ko na talaga kaya. Sorry mga anak, I cannot provide you a complete family.

04/07/2024

What if pinili namin ang isa't Isa at naging selfish sa mundo?

What if hindi ako na hospital nung Feb 28, 2023? Hindi sya mawawala sakin...

What if sumang ayon ang tadhana samin at si G?

Magiging ganito rin ba sitwasyon ko? Magiging masaya ba ko?

16/12/2022

Dear Self,

It's annoying feeling.. feeling of being forgotten by the one you can't forgot. Are we not good enough? Are we this kind of miserable? That's why we treated us like this. Am I not deserve to be loved? Am I not deserve to take care? Are we trash in your eyes? Are we weighting to you a lot?

Why you don't want to talk to us? Why are you just like that? Are we not worth of your time? Your care? Are we just like a stray kitten to you? Then why?

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