21/10/2026
🚨 JOB VACANCIES 🚨
We're after the following legends to join our crew...
🧀 CHEESE MILKER
Must have experience milking trees. No tree, no cheese. Simple.
🥔 POTATO GROWER
Must be able to grow spuds out of thin air. Black magic, witchcraft, whatever works.
🐄 COW NAPPERS
Two solid fullas required.
One to put the cow in a chokehold, the other to tackle its arse end 💀🤣
- Must be available for immediate deployment.
- Must provide own getaway vehicle.
- Must be comfortable working with uncooperative livestock.
❤️ Jokes aside, we're sorry, team. We know everyone's feeling the pinch, and this wasn't a decision we wanted to make, but we've had to put our prices up, and we're blaming whoever is responsible for this s**tshow 😤
IF YOU KNOW WHO IT IS, TAG THE MUPPET. WE'VE GOT BEEF (LITERALLY, IF OUR COW NAPPERS COME THROUGH) 👆🐄😂🔥
A massive thank you to everyone who continues to support our little business. We know times are tough, and we genuinely appreciate every single one of you who continues to show up for us. It means more than you know 🫶
