Gaddar's House

13/03/2017

A man bought a golden ring for his blind wife at night. “I brought something for you. You might like it,” the man said. “What is it honey?” his wife asked. “It’s the Golden Ring,” the man replied. “Oh, sound’s good. Can I wear it now?” the wife asked. “Sure, it’s yours,” the man said. He took it from the box but it fell. He crawled and searched for the ring but something told him that the ring was not around in this area. So he sprinted outside where the streetlights were and he started to do the same thing again. A moment later, Mr Mallard (The man’s neighbour) was walking down the street and saw the man crawling. “Are you finding something, Daniel?” Mr Mallard asked. “Oh yes, I’m finding the golden ring,” Daniel replied. “Where did you lose it?” Mr Mallard asked. “I lost it at home,” Daniel replied. “So, why don’t you find it at home then?” Mr Mallard asked. “Well, there were no lights in my house and it’s really dark,” Daniel replied. “You lost that ring in your house. So you’ll probably find it around somewhere where you lost it,” Mr Mallard said. “You know that my eyes don’t work very well and the doctor told me not to search anything in the dark whether it's really important or not. I’ll knock my head again if I don't listen to him. I can't believe it. He was right. He'll be proud of me if I tell him what I did now,” Daniel cried.

13/03/2017

: Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. The cop says to the man, "Are you aware of how fast you were going?"

The man replies, "Yes I am. I'm trying to escape a robbery I got involved in."

The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, "Were you the one being robbed?"

The man casually replies, "No, I committed the robbery."

The cop looks shocked that the man admitted this. "So you're telling me you were speeding...AND committed a robbery?"

"Yes," the man calmly says. "I have the loot in the back."

The cop begins to get angry. "Sir, I'm afraid you have to come with me." The cop reaches in the window to subdue the man.

"Don't do that!" the man yells fearfully. "I'm scared you will find the gun in my glove compartment!" The cop pulls his hand out. "Wait here," he says.

The cop calls for backup. Soon cops, cars, and helicopters are flooding the area. The man is cuffed quickly and taken towards a car. However, before he gets in, a cop walks up to him and says, while gesturing to the cop that pulled him over, "Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we found none of these things in your car."

The man replies, "Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!"

28/06/2016

An upset man Goes to a S*x Therapist.

Man : Doc, u Gotta help me. Please!

Doc : Sure Dude. Wats ur problem?

Man : It goes like this. Every Morning I get up & give my wife Hot S*x. Then leave for office.

I give a lift to my girlfriend, while going to Office, she gives me an amazing bl***ob.

While in office, After lunch I give My secretary a Quickie behind My table doggy style.

After I finish Work, I have steamy s*x with a Callgirl whom I order everyday.

While Returning home from office I bang girlfrnd in my car.

While at home, I F**k my wife till she Is half Dead.

After Dinner she gives a nice blow job to finish of My Day.

Doc : Well u Seem 2 have an Amazing s*x life. I don't see any problem.

Man : There is a problem Doc.

Its paining when I Ma******te at Midnight.

Doc : Bhagwan se darr , bhosdike darr..
Lakwa hojayega lode pe Lakwa!!😂😂😂😂😂

27/06/2016

11/06/2014

What Indian Advertisements taught me.???
1. Kareena has dandruff problem, Katrina has dry hair problem, Shilpa has hairfall problem and Priyanka has chip-chip.
2. If you've a hot wife, make sure your neighbor doesn't use a deodorant in your absence.
3. Your complexion is more important than your qualifications.
4. If there is no salt in your kitchen you can use Toothpaste.
5. Every second oral care brand is No. 1 and recommended by every dentist in India!!!
6. If your daughter is not Ready to Get married, take her to a jewelry/textile shop.
7. Only reason why men use deodorant is to get girls.
8. Most colas cure all kinds of phobias. You will be close to a superman, if you drink these regularly!!
9. All superstars are so poor that they prefer to risk life for a cool drink than to purchase it for Rs:10
10. The special effects in shampoo ads are greater than special effects in Avatar.
11. Fruit content in shampoo and soap is more than fruit content in 99% of juices.
12. Amul has better satirical cartoonists than people who make better milk products.
13. Most people buy vehicles to travel in bad roads but complain about roads in India.
14. You can't eat Dairy Milk Silk without spreading it all over your face.
15. Nobody uses motorbikes for commuting, its only to pick up girls.
16. All soaps kill 99.9% of germs.
17. People believe that Bacardi makes music CD's and Directors special/Kingfisher make mineral water.
18. The only time mothers and daughters talk to each other, it's usually about hair oil.
19. No matter what kind of expert one is, he'll always wear a white laboratory coat.
And, finally this
20.Mutualfundinvestmentsaresubjecttomarketriskspleasereadtheofferdocumentcarefullybeforeinvesting.

29/05/2014

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=492799780852028

26/04/2014

THIS ONE IS HILLARIOUS?
Johnny walked into class with a black eye.
Teacher: what's wrong?
Johnny: my house is very small. Me, my mum and my dad sleep on the same bed.
Every night, my dad asks, "johnny are u sleeping?" Then i say No and he slaps my face and gives me a black eye.
Teacher: tonight when ur dad asks again, keep dead quiet and dont answer.
The following morning, Johnny comes back with a severe black eye again.
Teacher: My goodness! Why the black eye again?
Johnny: dad asked me again, Johnny are u sleeping? & i shut up and kept dead still. Then my dad and my mum started moving, u know, at the same time mum was breathing erratically, kicking her legs up frantically and squealing like a hyena on the bed.
Then my dad asked my mum, "are u coming?"
Mum said, "yes, i'm coming, r u coming too?"
Dad answered, "yes."
They dont usually go anywhere without me so i said, "wait for me, I'm also coming!!

26/04/2014

Pankaj fell in love
Pankaj married
Pankaj divorced
Pankaj udaas
Sonia was walking.
Sonia slipped.
Sonia fell into the drain.
Sonia Gandhi
Sameera went to a parlor
Sameera did her hair
Sameera did her makeup
Sameera Reddy
Kangana hit the ball
Kangana took a single
Kangana did not reach the crease
Kangana Ranaut.
Hrithik buys bulb
Hrithik puts bulb in socket
Hrithik switches bulb on
hrithik roshan
Lance arms weak.
Lance joins gym.
Lance does chin-ups.
Lance Armstrong
Poonam puts Chuna
Poonam puts Kathha
Poonam puts Gulkand
Poonam puts supari
Poonam Pandey
Anil menbatti
Anil agarbatti
Anil dhoop
Anil kapoor
Umar walking on the road
Umar got kidnapped
Umar not found by family
Umar gul
Minisha purchased a cycle
Minisha started riding cycle
Minisha's height increased
Minisha lamba
William making fruit shake
William took pears
William put them in glass
William shakespeare
Mika went to studio
Mika went to recording room
Mika took the mike
Mika singh

17/08/2012

A bus carryin 50 Ministers
crashed
into a tree. An old man after
seeing wat had happened,
dug a hole to bury all the ministers.
A few hours later d police
came to investigate d crash
n
asked d old man where all
d
politicians had gone.
The old farmer said he had
buried them. D police asked
him, "Were they all dead?"
D old man replied,
"Well, some of them said
they
weren't, but u know how
these politicians lie."... =))

08/07/2012