The Last Post

The Last Post Small takeaway shop serving freshly cooked to order food.

14/04/2026

Open til 2
Soup today is lentil
Chaos on standby

It’s dry… for now
But you already know how this goes — give it 10 minutes 🌧️

Weather’s playing mind games
Staff are too

Pull up before it turns into soup outside as well 😭

09/04/2026

OPEN TIL 2
Soup: Tomato — basic but reliable (unlike most people)
Special: Spicy BBQ Chicken — actually brings more heat than this tragic excuse of weather

Outside? Miserable.
Inside? Controlled chaos and hot food flying out like we’ve lost the plot.

If you’re no coming in, just say you enjoy being
hungry, cold, and making bad life decisions.

Staff morale? Hanging by a thread.
Standards? Somewhere in the bin but the food’s unreal so we move.

Rolls are hot, portions are heavy, and if it’s messy you’re getting it in a box —
this is a roll shop, no a fine dining experience.

Get in, get fed, stop acting brand new.

07/04/2026

OPEN TIL 2 🥄

Soup: Lentil
Thick enough to patch a wall and still smoother than the staff

🚫 Beef burgers?
Away. Gone. Vanished.
Waiting on the butcher like a dog at the door — zero dignity left

✨ Special today?
The staff member…
God help you all

If your roll explodes — GOOD
It’s getting flung in a box with zero care
This is breakfast, no Milan Fashion Week 💅
Eat it, don’t model it

Everything’s fresh
Everything’s hot
Everything’s one minor inconvenience away from chaos

Service may include:
• attitude
• eye rolls
• deep sighs
• character building

Get in, get fed, don’t annoy me
or you’re getting judged silently while I wrap your roll

03/04/2026

GOOD FRIDAY… OR IS IT? 👀

We’re open ‘til 2
Soup is Mexican Chicken 🌶️🔥
Special is… the staff (no refunds, no swaps)

Jesus died for your sins…
you can at least come get a roll for your hangover 😌✝️

No fish miracles here, just:
👉 hot rolls
👉 banging soup
👉 questionable attitudes behind the counter

Get in, get fed, don’t test the patience 🙃

02/04/2026

OPEN TIL 2

Soup is Mexican chicken
Staff are present but spiritually? checked oot at 7:01am

Special today is absolutely hee haw
Because respectfully… canny be arsed

Operating on one brain cell, blind rage and a dangerous urge to tell customers exactly what I’m thinking
(but don’t worry… still legally employed so I’m holding it in… barely)

If you hear sighing, eye rolling or me whispering “for f*ck sake” under my breath…
mind your business

Food’s still unreal though – hot, fresh, nae messing
Service comes with attitude, trauma and a side of regret

Get in, get fed, get oot before I start being honest 👍

01/04/2026

🚨 APRIL FOOLS BUT WE’RE NO JOKING 🚨

We’re OPEN til 2 (unfortunately for you)

Soup today: Lentil
— aye, same as always, we’re not that creative

Specials today:
👉 The staff (again… no refunds)

Thought we’d spice it up for April Fools but let’s be honest…
this place is already a joke 365 days a year

Food? unreal
Service? questionable
Attitude? rotten

BUT you’ll still be back. You always are.

Tag a pal that would fall for a “we’re closed” post
then drag them in anyway 👇

31/03/2026

Open till 2

Right troops… it’s one of those days

Soup:
Creamy Tomato (posh behaviour, thinks it’s on MasterChef)
or
Lentil (built like a brick, will sort your life out)

Special:
Chicken Tikka Pasta 🔥
or
the staff…
⚠️ side effects may include eye rolls, attitude & emotional damage

Everything cooked fresh while I run about like a headless chicken
One woman band
No backup
No plan
Just vibes and caffeine

If I look stressed — no you didn’t
If I forget your order — that’s between you and God

Get in, get fed, get out before I shut the hatch and start swinging pans 🥴🔥

27/03/2026

OPEN TIL 2PM

It’s Friday.
Sky’s looking bright.
Spirits? fragile.

Soup: chicken 🐔
Hot enough to sort your life out (or at least your hangover).

Vibes:
don’t. test. me.

Staff:
still the special
HR would’ve sacked her
but she is HR

REAL SPECIAL:
CHICKEN TIKKA 🔥
in a roll / wrap / box / or just stand there and eat it like a gremlin

Fresh cooked
no microwaved nonsense
you’ll wait 5 mins but it’ll change your mood

One woman band
running on caffeine, delusion & sarcasm

Be sound → get elite scran
Be annoying → still get fed but I’ll remember you

If you hear shouting… it’s just me living my best life

Tag the pal that would argue over sauce choices 👇

26/03/2026

OPEN TIL 2PM

Blue skies… absolutely Baltic
Sun’s out just for decoration ❄️☀️

One woman band in full survival mode
Running the shop, the kitchen, and her last nerve

Soup today: Lentil
Warm yer soul while the rest of ye freezes solid

Staff update:
Still just the one… still a bit special
Currently arguing with herself and losing

Expect:
• Hot food, cold hands
• Sass with every order
• Mild confusion

If it’s fast – suspicious
If it’s right – divine intervention

Get in, get fed, get back out before you turn into a statue 🧊

25/03/2026

OPEN TIL 2
(weather’s still absolutely howlin btw 🌧️)

Soup – Thai Chicken Noodle 🍜
Special – Shredded Fajita Chicken 🌯🔥
Also got Pasta Bolognese for the fancy folk 🍝

Rolls, wraps, boxes… we’ll fling it at ye however ye want it.

Cooked fresh, nae messing about.
Might need to wait a few minutes but that’s cause it’s no been sitting dying all morning 👍

Staff? Still a bit questionable.
Food? Unreal.

Get yourself in before we sell out or the staff lose the plot completely.

24/03/2026

OPEN TIL 2PM ☀️
(or until the staff member loses the plot… whichever comes first)

Soup the day: Thai Chicken Noodle 🍜
— sounds fancy, still served by chaos

Special: Shredded Fajita Chicken 🌯
— wrap it, roll it, fling it in a box… we’ll figure it out

Staff update:
Still a bit special 👍
No been trained, just vibes
Operating on caffeine & blind panic

🔥 Fresh butcher meat
🔥 Cooked to order
🔥 One woman band (pray for her)

If your order’s wrong…
it’s no wrong, it’s a mystery meal experience

Tag a pal that would still eat it anyway 👇
(or come witness the carnage in person)

23/03/2026

Today’s actual special (cos the staff member’s clearly no) 👇

🌯 SHREDDED FAJITA CHICKEN
— in a wrap
— in a ciabatta
— in a roll
— or just on its own if you’re built different

Address

4 Barassiebank Lane
Troon
KA106RW

Opening Hours

Monday 7am - 2pm
Tuesday 7am - 2pm
Wednesday 7am - 2pm
Thursday 7am - 2pm
Friday 7am - 2pm
Saturday 8am - 1pm

Telephone

+447724716112

Website

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