The Globe inn wilnecote

30/09/2026

🐷🎯 PIGGY DARTS – ROB’S BIRTHDAY EDITION! 🎯🐷

Well, any evening that starts with a wh***ey shot is alright by me! 🥃

Game 1 - We’ve decided we’re not singing Happy Birthday until we’re at least three shots in… OR until our resident Chelsea Pensioner Sandra actually manages to hit the dartboard. Let’s be honest, neither is looking particularly likely! Special K is blaming Daisy the dog for her shocking darts this week. Meanwhile, Pea is taking absolutely NO prisoners! She wiped out both Tartan Tom AND Merry Marie in one visit to the board.

🚨 STOP THE PRESS! QUICK PUB QUIZ! 🚨

In the classic Cilla Black song “You’re My World”, does Cilla sing:

A) “With your hand resting in mine, I feel an urge to 69.”

B) “With your hand resting in mine, I feel like a pork pie.”

C) “With your hand resting in mine, I feel a power so divine.”

Answers on a postcard to Jolly Jan, The Globe Inn, Wilnecote.

🎯 BACK TO THE DARTS…

Blaming Daisy the dog for s**te darts must be catching because Our Trace has now jumped on the canine excuse train too! At this rate, Daisy is going to need her own darts. And then there were TWO… Our Trace and the one and only Chelsea Pensioner Sandra! The tension was unbearable. The crowd held its breath… and then SANDRA HAS ONLY GONE AND BLOODY WON! Someone check the calendar because this can only mean one thing… IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE — 12 WEEKS EARLY! Get the wh***ey shots out.

We’re onto Game 2… and it didn’t take long for the drama to begin! Jimbo has already started claiming he’s being bullied by the girls. Jimbo, love, attention is attention lap that s**t up! Meanwhile, Digger has only gone and hit the BULLSEYE! 🎯 Now, in the normal world this would be impressive… but in Piggy Darts it means absolutely bu**er all! Apparently though, Digger gets something special at home whenever he hits it. Jolly Jan has absolutely NO idea what this mysterious reward could possibly be… so we can only assume it involves some very exclusive alone time. Can it be Rob1’s birthday every week please?! He’s now turned up with CHOCOLATE FOR ALL THE LADIES! At this rate, we might actually end up singing Happy Birthday after all! Tiny Tich doesn’t like chocolate, so Gentle Gaz has taken true romance to a whole new level — he’s sucking the chocolate off the Maltesers and handing her the crunchy middle bit! Now THAT is love, ladies and gentlemen. Forget flowers… apparently the way to a woman’s heart is a Malteser middle after Gaz has done the hard work! And AGAIN, we’ve somehow made it down to the final two! It’s Gentle Gaz vs Special K — a battle of skill, luck and questionable throwing techniques. But with Daisy Dog nowhere to be seen, Special K has only gone and WON Game 2!

Oooooh… CAKE! 🎂😂

We may not have managed 3 wh***eys, but tonight we’ve had something almost as rare… a Sandra win! We’ve had chocolate and we’ve had the most AMAZING cakes made by our very own Tiny Tich! Now we sing….

🎶 Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Rob 1,
Happy birthday to you! 🎶

Everyone is tucking into cake like they’re auditioning to be Nigella’s replacement on The Great British Bake Off. Digger put your bloody fingers away! Nobody needs to see you sucking them like you’ve just discovered cake for the first time! Right… enough of this cake-fuelled behaviour. Back to the darts! Although, after all these treats, I’m not sure I’ve got the energy to write about another game. I need a lie down, a cup of coffee and possibly a small food coma.

Game 3 - as nothing else as good as that cake happened during game 3 we are just going straight to the winner. Well done Merry Marie.

Ps we had a newbie called Kev, sorry Kev you’ll get a nickname and a better write up next week.

26/09/2026

Today we will be showing the F1 then later the England game, come along and join us, always a great atmosphere 😀

24/09/2026

Packed out quiz again this evening, sorry to the teams who came but was unable to get a table 😪, in bottom spot was 384 on tour thay took the chocolate, and in top spot was one year out, well done to you all it was a tough one this week 👏👏👏👏👏 see you all next week, be early to bag your table 👍

23/09/2026

Piggy dart… wait I’ve got handbags to collect edition.

🐷 GAME 1 🐷

FULL HOUSE TONIGHT! Rumour has it that it’s Rob 1’s birthday.

🎶 Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Rob 1… 🎶

STOP.

It’s next week, you absolute fukwits. Nothing says organised darts team quite like celebrating someone’s birthday seven days early.

Dainty Deb was straight into action, and her amazing swinging leg nearly took Our Trace out on her very first go. Forget the oche, Deb’s brought a weapon of mass destruction tonight. One more swing like that and Trace would’ve been horizontal. Merry Marie means BUSINESS tonight, trebles being hit, darts flying, and then casually walking away. Special K, meanwhile, has decided her shocking throwing is nothing to do with her throwing. apparently it’s her bad arm. Next week it’ll be the darts were too pointy. The Child Slayer Kev has had a rebrand tonight. With no kids in the building, he’s officially become The Lady Killer. Down to the final two…. Gentle Gaz vs Rob 1 and let’s be honest, even if it had been Rob 1’s birthday, Gaz would still have beaten him.

🏆 WINNER OF GAME 1 — GENTLE GAZ! 🏆

Our Trace has a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT…

DRUMROLL PLEASE… 🥁🥁🥁

IT’S NOT ROB 1’S BIRTHDAY!!!

Thank God we cleared that up before we started singing again.

NOW FOR THE SERIOUS ANNOUNCEMENT… 🥁🥁🥁

After what feels like years of paperwork, phone calls and probably a few too many tears, Our Trace has finally got everything sorted with the brewery…

IT’S OFFICIAL — SHE FINALLY HAS THE PUB!

And apparently The Globe is now NUMBER 1 PUB IN THE WORLD! 🌎🏆

Well… maybe not the world, but in the Piggy Darts World Rankings, there’s absolutely no competition! Where else can you find Piggy Darts on a Wednesday night, questionable singing, flying legs and this bunch of absolute nutters? NOWHERE! But seriously, we are all so happy for Our Trace and Rob 1. They’ve created a proper community pub where everyone is welcome, everyone has a laugh and nobody stays a stranger for long.

Congratulations to you both — The Globe Inn Wilnecote really is one very special little pub.

Right game 2, I haven’t really been paying attention because I was writing soppy stuff. Final 2 Tartan Tom and Our Trace…. Not only has she won the pub she’s also won the game.

🏆 WINNER OF GAME 2 — OUR TRACE! 🏆

Game 3… and we’re off!

Digger is having birthday drinks… despite it NOT being his birthday either! Never one to miss out, he’s clearly decided birthday cheer is available to everyone! Our Chelsea Pensioner Sandra must have been having lessons because ALL THREE darts hit the board — and actually looked like they were meant to! Pea Pod is back again this week and hoping to make it two wins on the trot. Can he do it again? Meanwhile, Rob 2 can’t decide if he’s in or out. In… out… in… Honestly, it’s like a s**t Hokey Cokey! Digger keeps shouting “11, 8, 5!” — that’s not the numbers he got out in darts, but the ages he was checking out back in the day when he used to hang around outside Sutton Girls School!

Which brings me onto some fun facts…. Dodgy people who have owned a mini -

Myra Hindley
John Cannan
Butcher Baker
Digger

Also, I take back what I said about our Chelsea Pensioner Sandra earlier.

We are down to the final 2 - Jimbo and Big Ron. Jimbo is trying to put Big Ron off by leaving his darts in the board. Nice try Jimbo…

🏆 WINNER OF GAME 3 — BIG RON! 🏆

17/09/2026

16/09/2026

RETURN OF THE MAC

Piggy Darts Week we’ve all lost count.

After a few weeks away cruising the high seas, I’ve returned to find the Piggy Darts house exactly as I left it… loud, chaotic and full of questionable behaviour.

Digger is singing, Our Trace has apparently gone completely deaf, and Dazzling Doug is busy slagging off Rob 1… whilst Rob 1 is actually sitting in the room! 😂 Subtle as ever, Doug.

Game 1 review is going to be short and sweet because, quite frankly, I’d forgotten the actual reason I was there. Lolly is back this week too. Last time I saw her she turned up actually dressed as a pig, which was absolutely fabulous. So naturally I was expecting the full Piggy Darts attire tonight, where has the piggy outfit gone, Lolly?!

Final two Merry Marie and newbie Pea Pod. Taking the first win of the night… Pod.

Game 2 - Tartan Tom is throwing like he means business, whilst Jimbo has decided cheating is now his turn, despite Digger usually having that department covered. Newbie Special K takes Big Ron out before he’s even had a chance to throw a dart. Harsh. Arty Abbie is smashing w**e glasses, Rob 2 has lost Michelle, and I’m sat wondering who the bloody hell Michelle is, I was only away for a week. There’s shouting everywhere. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s actually because Our Trace is deaf and everyone has had to turn the volume up. Meanwhile, Big Ron is getting increasingly frisky off the wh***ey supplied by Tartan Tom and is rubbing all the ladies off. Final two, Big Ron vs Pea Pod. Game 2 Winner Pea Pod.

Game 3 The Fart Round, I mean the final game.
Someone farted and when I say farted, I mean fu***ng detonated. Whatever arse that came from could probably be registered as a nuclear weapon. The smell was so horrific it gave Our Trace a nosebleed, Rob 1 has gone to bed, and I can no longer see properly because due to fart mist.

I’m tapping out.

Game 3 Winner Rob2

Tune in next week for more piggy darts and hopefully less farting.

11/09/2026

Sorry for the late post again 😐 quiz was alot quieter with folk on holiday ..... well i say quieter ...not anyway winners and losers below 🍻👌👏👏👏👏

09/09/2026

week …. something in the piggy darts house

The usual PA is off this week, and I haven’t been for weeks, and I’m also late, so I may have missed some of the first few exciting moments 🫡

Jake’s come prepared this week! he’s got his specs on, so he might actually have a chance of winning as he can see more than a foot in front of him, and on his first visit to the oche he knocks out number one! our sandra! it’s okay though she gets another go! and bloomin heck!! he’s done it to Andy aswell!

Doug’s only gone and got himself out, the usual tactic isn’t working when so many empty numbers are on the table, what a shame. rub yourself off Doug, you’ve earned it.

Tom steps up to the oche and oh my god! he’s like a marksman! he knocks out 2 and 20! Rob 1 goes down, and the last unclaimed number becomes claimed. Big Ron takes out tom, and jake knocks out Rich and Kev in one fell swoop (maybe the glasses actually were a good idea)

Sandra, Boss Lady, Jake and Big Ron remain in contest… AND THEN JAKE KNOCKS OUT BOSS LADY TRACY!!! WERE DOWN TO TOP THREE!!! (Jake was swiftly barred from the establishment)

Who’s it gonna be… I cant stand the suspense.

Sandra swiftly avenges Tracy and takes revenge for earlier on by knocking Jake out, AND WITH ONE FINAL DART, BIG RON TAKES THE VICTORY!!!

Onto Game 2 now, and Rich hits 2 triples, and loses two triples to the forces of gravity, so I guess we’ll have to start calling him Newton from now on. Newton gets knocked out by Kev, but apparently what goes down must come up again, and he gets another number. He does, however lose another dart, and a number down, to gravity. Maybe someone has a sharpener he can borrow.

Sandra’s especially vengeful today, and makes Jake take another number again, just for good measure. Tracey gets a bit of revenge aswell, and knocks him out for good, jeez ladies put the claws away 😸

Big Ron takes out Marie and Kev, and we’re down to 5can he take the victory again… podium places incoming.

Tom takes out Andy, and by some miracle, Isaac Newton himself takes out Big Ron, were down to 3, its sandra, tom and Isaac ‘Rich’ Newton we’re gripping the edges of our seats

SANDRA TAKES OUT TOM!!! ITS DOWN TO THE FINAL TWO!!! WHO WILL BE MARKING THE BOARD!!! BY SOME MIRACLE MR NEWTON AKA RICH KEEPS HIS DARTS IN THE BOARD LONG ENOUGH TO TAKE THE VICTORY

(sandra probably doesn’t mind, as they’re drawn the numbers particularly high up today)

Game three, and it’s a heated battle to find out who will be the beholder of the Golden Pig.

Doug takes an early lead… or so we thought, taking out 16 and 7 in one fell swoop, only to find out they were still laid face down on the table. What a disappointment. After a few rounds, Big Ron rubs him off, and that’s bye-bye Doug.

Several hours later, Tom rubs Andy off, and there’s a brief moment of excitement when we think Jimmy’s gonna get to rub Sandra off, but oh! she gets another go!

Someone attempts sabotage against Newton, but they miss, and he’s changed his darts anyway so it’s whatever, but now everyone else is scared of gravity, so they’re pulling out prematurely (the darts, out of the board that is) and forgetting what they scored

Mr newton knocks out boss lady, it seems swapping the darts did the trick, and Big Ron knocks out Marie and Tom, double trouble! Jimmy takes out Jake and Newton, and its down to Jimmy and Ron the Destroyer. Big Ron misses all three darts, can Jimmy take it… HIS DART IS BROKEN! OH NO! With his final dart, Big Ron (with the help of marie giving the opposition a dodgy scottish dart) takes his second victory of the night, and holds the Golden Pig.