The Fossil Thief

The Fossil Thief Digging deep into local brands to share the best in independent beer, coffee, wines, spirits and food.

‼️SADLY WE’RE CLOSED TODAYUnfortunately our coffee machine has been working so hard over the weekend it’s given up on us...
20/07/2026

‼️SADLY WE’RE CLOSED TODAY
Unfortunately our coffee machine has been working so hard over the weekend it’s given up on us and sadly as a result we need to close today.

But fear not an engineer is on the way and we’ll be back up and running first thing tomorrow morning. Apologies for any inconvenience / caffeine withdrawal symptoms to may experience as a result

SEE YOU TOMORROW FROM 08:30!☕️

Gunwharf workers/residents... your sad supermarket lunch days are over!Freshly baked baguettes. Proper local ingredients...
09/07/2026

Gunwharf workers/residents... your sad supermarket lunch days are over!

Freshly baked baguettes. Proper local ingredients. No curled-up sad sandwiches. No disappointing meal deals.

The Fossil Thief Click & Collect Meal Deal
1. Order by 10:00am
2. Collect from 11:30am (Mon–Fri)

This week’s line-up...

THE DELI – Cured ham, burrata, pesto & rocket
THE CATCH – Scottish smoked salmon, mascarpone, capers & rocket
THE BLT – Smoked bacon, gem lettuce & tomato
THE DAIRY (V) – Vintage Brie, caramelised onion & rocket

Every baguette is baked fresh on-site using ingredients from brilliant local suppliers, so your lunch is made properly, not pulled from a plastic packet.

Need a bigger office order? Give us a call and we’ll sort it.

👇 COMMENT “LUNCH” BELOW and we’ll DM you an exclusive discount code!

Order here: https://thefossilthief.square.site/ (Link in bio)

Orders must be placed before 10:00am for same-day collection. Collection from 11:30am. Please allow at least 30 minutes after ordering. Sandwich selection changes weekly and is subject to availability.

06/07/2026

WOOHOO WE WON! 🍻

Which obviously means today is officially a national day of questionable decisions and probably some heroic hangovers.

Luckily, we’ve got the cure with proper coffee from . Ridiculously good mega toasties and our own Thieve’s Breakfast Bagel Stack to get you back on your feet.

And if you’re more “hair of the dog” than “fresh start Monday”... we’ve got local craft ales, lagers, ciders, wines, cocktails and plenty more.

So if you’re looking for the best spot on the waterfront to avoid work emails for a bit, you’ll find us at The Fossil Thief in Gunwharf Quays pretending we definitely remember all the goals!

⏰ Opening hours:
Sunday–Wednesday: 8:30am–6:00pm
Thursday: 8:30am–8:00pm
Friday & Saturday: 8:30am–10:00pm

Football’s coming home... but first, caffeine & carbs!

26/06/2026

Sure, we’re famous for toasties...

But there’s another cheesy masterpiece quietly stealing hearts this summer.

Our whole Burrata is served with ripe tomatoes, fresh basil, balsamic glaze and toasted sourdough for the ultimate tear-and-share experience.

It’s fresh, creamy, packed with flavour and made for long lunches, sunny afternoons and anyone who believes there’s no such thing as too much cheese.

Whether you’re joining us for a towering toastie or keeping things a little lighter, we’ve got your cheese cravings covered.

Because at , it’s never just been about toasties...

It’s about celebrating cheese in all its glorious forms.

25/06/2026

THE CHURCHUR CHEESE Has answered your prayers...

Introducing THE PASTORAMI.

A New York-style deli toastie stacked with thinly sliced pastrami, Monterey Jack, our house triple-cheese blend, crunchy pickles and a generous slathering of American mustard, all sealed between perfectly toasted sourdough.

We’ve committed a few sins in the name of flavour before... but this one might just need its own confession booth.

It’s unapologetically cheesy and after one bite, you’ll understand why we genuinely think this could be our best toastie yet.

The Pastorami has officially joined the ChurChur Cheese congregation from today.

Come and be converted in

Tag someone who needs to confess.

24/06/2026

☀️ It’s officially too hot to do anything sensible, so why not spend the day by the water instead?

Nestled right on the waterfront at , The Fossil Thief is the perfect place to soak up the sunshine, watch the boats drift by and pretend your inbox doesn’t exist.

Grab a coffee made with expertly roasted beans from , demolish what might just be the world’s best toasties from , cool off with a local craft beer from , enjoy a glass of wine from , and treat yourself to incredible patisserie from and . Because balance is important.

With stunning harbour views, a relaxed waterside atmosphere and a collection of some of the very best local producers, there’s never been a better excuse to escape the house and let someone else do the cooking.

If you’ve not paid us a visit yet, this is your sign.

Support local. Stay hydrated. Eat toasties. Enjoy the view.

See you by the water. 🌊☕🧀🍷🥐🍻

DrinkLocal EatLocal WaterfrontVibes

23/06/2026

ICED COFFEE REMINDER 5467

Wouldn’t want to be the only cafe in the world to not share an iced coffee vid today so here you go.

We offer all our coffees, hot chocolates, chai and matcha as iced variants so whether you want an iced white chocolate, pistachio latte or one of our famous dragon kiss matchas then we’ve got you covered.

OPENING TIMES THIS WEEK
Mon-Wed 08:30-6
THURS 08:30-8
FRI & SAT 08:30-10
SUN 08:30-6

Comment below with how many iced coffee ads you’ve seen today. Feel free to round down to the nearest thousand!

£1 PINT FATHERS DAY DEALScientists have spent years trying to determine what makes dads happy and the results are finall...
18/06/2026

£1 PINT FATHERS DAY DEAL

Scientists have spent years trying to determine what makes dads happy and the results are finally in.

It’s meat.
It’s cheese.
It’s beer for a quid.

And preferably all three at the same time.

This Father’s Day, any dad buying an epic toastie can enjoy a pint of Beerbasol Lager or StaggerSaurus IPA for just £1.

If you haven’t tried these epic cheese feasts then this is the perfect time.

No bookings, no stress. Just rock up and get yourself something delicious in our stunning waterside location in Gunwharf Quays!

Whether he’s a brisket-loving barbecue dad, a blue cheese fanatic, or the sort of bloke who thinks every meal should contain enough cheese and meat to stop a small horse, we’ve got him covered.

Father’s Day is Sunday 21st June, so gather the family, grab a toastie and treat the man who’s spent the last 20 years saying “we’ve got food at home.”

Tag a dad who deserves a £1 pint... or one who definitely doesn’t.

NEW SUMMER OPENING HOURSWe’ve tweaked our hours a teensie bit as we look to bring in bookable evening events such as coc...
09/06/2026

NEW SUMMER OPENING HOURS
We’ve tweaked our hours a teensie bit as we look to bring in bookable evening events such as cocktail classes, sushi making, beer tastings and more.

We’re still open 7 days a week from 08:30 and late at weekends for those waterside sundowners.

Thanks for all your support!

☀️

THE BLUE TESTAMENTWe’ve got another toastie special on the menu and this one is loaded with enough Stilton to divide hou...
03/06/2026

THE BLUE TESTAMENT
We’ve got another toastie special on the menu and this one is loaded with enough Stilton to divide households, end friendships and start arguments.

Some will call it bold. Some will call it excessive. Some will take one bite and immediately begin speaking in tongues.

This is not a toastie for the weak. This is for the disciples of blue cheese. The congregation of funk.

Stuffed with our signature triple-cheese blend and an unrepentant amount of Stilton, The Blue Testament is rich, glorious and just a little bit controversial.

Available now from in the kitchens of

Address

Lock Keepers Cottage, Gunwharf Quays
Portsmouth
PO13FH

Opening Hours

Monday 8:30am - 8pm
Tuesday 8:30am - 8pm
Wednesday 8:30am - 8pm
Thursday 8:30am - 8pm
Friday 8:30am - 10pm
Saturday 8:30am - 10pm
Sunday 8:30am - 8pm

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