The Coven of Wiches

The Coven of Wiches Plant Based Deli, Pickle House & Bar
"Bitchin' 'Wiches made by Witches!"

COVEN CLUB IS RECRUITING…📣Calling all life lovers, who wants a gob full?!🥱BACK this week like it never left and was mayb...
05/10/2026

COVEN CLUB IS RECRUITING…
📣
Calling all life lovers, who wants a gob full?!
🥱
BACK this week like it never left and was maybe lurking within earshot, perhaps inside a slatted neo classical soffit wardrobe like a fair weather lover. Maybe. Either or Eyether way, it’s THE CLUB and remains DELICIOUS! No doubt.
👌🏼
Double Decker Tasty
Coven Lemon Pepper CHKN
Sliced Avocado
Frilly Leafs
Smokey Hot Vastrami
Fresh Tomato
Baconaise Dressing
Crispy Onions
Cracked Black Pepper
Diddy Pickle
Crispy Crisp Garnish
£13 digital monies or real if exact because we don’t got no change probably.
666% VEGAN. YOU KNOW IT MAKES NO SENSE!

Spent ages writing a witty caption at 2am but it got deleted when I dropped the phone on my face, so here’s a sardonic r...
04/10/2026

Spent ages writing a witty caption at 2am but it got deleted when I dropped the phone on my face, so here’s a sardonic rhetoric instead.
Come and buy/eat this good food on Sunday, it’s good and also we love you.
🖤e

Hello lovelies, sorry to say some lurgy is plaguing me so the Coven is going to be closed this evening (Thursday 1 Octob...
01/10/2026

Hello lovelies, sorry to say some lurgy is plaguing me so the Coven is going to be closed this evening (Thursday 1 October). Will be firing on all available cylinders tomorrow so come on through for all your wichery needs on the morrow!✨

OCT 1 NEWS!!!I am very ill my lovelies and as such, I have to go home early today and try to get better.Will update on s...
01/10/2026

OCT 1 NEWS!!!
I am very ill my lovelies and as such, I have to go home early today and try to get better.
Will update on stories and via google maps hours so keep em peeled for when we back.
Sorry to anyone who planned to get stuffed tonight, I have currently no working tastebuds nor feeling in my extremities, I NO GOOD!
Annabelles
x6x6x6

Karma at THE COVEN.🖤That’s it. That’s all.The World’s Most Ethical Soft Drinks x
30/09/2026

Karma at THE COVEN.
🖤
That’s it. That’s all.
The World’s Most Ethical Soft Drinks
x

THE ‘WICHES ARE COMING!!SEP 30 - OCT 03 🌱Ever had your entire face melted off by the sight of some plant food dumped in ...
28/09/2026

THE ‘WICHES ARE COMING!!
SEP 30 - OCT 03 🌱
Ever had your entire face melted off by the sight of some plant food dumped in front of your corporeal form!? No!? Then you’ve just been outed as a COVEN N003…. Get yo buns in gear and sit down at the alter of tasty! Bring a second visage, cos like what I said earlier if you were paying attention and committing to memory the written word put forth by mine hand, YOUR FACE BITS IS GONNA GET ENDED BY THE SIGHT OF SHEER BEAUTIOUS MANIFESTATION….
Behold 👇🏼
THE REUBEN
THE BOL
THE CAESAR
THE VISH FINGERER (sic)
THE SMACK
HASHY BEEEEZ
WICCAN LIQUOR
MARGS
Mr Bang Hot Sauce YO!
BLOODY MABELS ft. Tito's Handmade Vodka
SLAW
POTATO SALAD
FRIES GOSH DANG IT
I SCREAM ‘WICH PB&J
Errrrrr other stuff that’s good as well also.
Oh and by the way, did we tell you, we got robbed last week!? Well we got robbed last week. Local drug addict came in and stole booze right off the bar. Full CCTV, full police report, nothing’s been done and they keep walking past the shop every other day. What even do the police do in Brixton anyway!?
Come eat and drink our food tho, is good.
666% VEGAN. YOU KNOW IT MAKES NO SENSE!

SUN DAY FUN DAY? 🫣‘Wichin’ 12-6 for the purpose of getting you stuffed, drunk, sober, seen, heard, felt and/or perhaps b...
27/09/2026

SUN DAY FUN DAY? 🫣
‘Wichin’ 12-6 for the purpose of getting you stuffed, drunk, sober, seen, heard, felt and/or perhaps becomsteth an human melt!? Who even knows!?
Look at the words on the yellow picture what be a menu and you will find salvation for you and yours, in exchange for the pounds of money.
666% VEGAN. YOU KNOW IT MAKES NO SENSE!

SWIPE FOR THE HYPE… 🌱🖤🤘£25 gets you the pleasure of pi***ng off the r**e, torture and murder apologists. You can tell th...
22/09/2026

SWIPE FOR THE HYPE… 🌱🖤🤘
£25 gets you the pleasure of pi***ng off the r**e, torture and murder apologists.
You can tell them that The Coven made you do it!
Don’t let anyone tell you we aren’t mad to our core and sick to our stomachs every single day.
Cognitive dissonance is a global sickness that tells us that “the way it is” is the way it should be. Well, scratch that noise, shake the tree, burn down the institutions and do it all while smashing sandwiches made from plants.
666% VEGAN. YOU KNOW IT MAKES NO SENSE!


DID WE STUTTER?! 🌱🖤🤘
£25 gets you the pleasure of pi***ng off the r**e, torture and murder apologists.
You can tell them that The Coven made you do it!
Don’t let anyone tell you we aren’t mad to our core and sick to our stomachs every single day.
Cognitive dissonance is a global sickness that tells us that “the way it is” is the way it should be. Well, scratch that noise, shake the tree, burn down the institutions and do it all while smashing sandwiches made from plants.
666% VEGAN. YOU KNOW IT MAKES NO SENSE!

MEATBALL SUB!!!!!!!!!This week and beyond we have the return of THE BOL! Our own very lovely sub of meatballs and tasty....
21/09/2026

MEATBALL SUB!!!!!!!!!
This week and beyond we have the return of THE BOL! Our own very lovely sub of meatballs and tasty.
You can also get a Reuben, a Caesar or a Vishy morsel, even some Smack and I SCREAM WICH!!!
Come through and remember…. We’re not a fast food restaurant, take a seat, get a drink, get two drinks and wait for the tasty, it’s gonna come in HOT!
OH! And take note, we’re open Wednesday 12-3 and then 7:30-9 🖤
666% VEGAN. YOU KNOW IT MAKES NO SENSE!

Address

14D Market Row, Coldharbour Lane, Brixton
London
SW98LD

Opening Hours

Wednesday 12pm - 3pm
5pm - 9pm
Thursday 12pm - 3pm
5pm - 9pm
Friday 12pm - 3pm
5pm - 9pm
Saturday 12pm - 10pm
Sunday 12pm - 6pm

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