02/11/2024
Why do you buy takeaway coffee? You can make it at home for a lot less money.” I raised my eyebrows at the question and took a sip of the offending shop bought latte. The answer that I gave was “Because I want to, and I get to choose what I spend my money on.” But there’s more to it than that, and I realised it only now I was being asked.
As a single mum, I don’t get a lot of opportunity to be “cared for” by other people. I don’t have help with running my home, I don’t have someone to bring me small tokens that make life more enjoyable. Coffee, flowers, a bar of chocolate...
But I can go to the drive through and have someone ask me how I am and what I want. And that might be the only time that day those questions are asked to me.
I don’t think this is unique to being a single parent, either. I think many people will resonate with the loneliness of the modern world. In fact, my love of shop bought coffee started on maternity leave, when I was still married. After being up several times in the night to breastfeed, I would load baby up into the car and drive to a coffee shop just so I could have some adult conversation and be surrounded by other grownups for half an hour.
And now – today? That cup of coffee represents a small but rare moment of choice, self-care, and in a way, care from someone else that my life often lacks (even though I understand the barista is paid to be nice to me.)
Is this “sad”? Maybe. But it works for me, for now. And if you resonate with this, I want to encourage you to embrace it. It’s ok – a coffee is small price to pay for a mental health boost.