Razzars CAFE Goole

26/05/2026

Anyone know sımon hull can you let hım know we have found hıs bank card at back of cafe and can collect from ınsıde, thanks

19/05/2026

Hı Sarah Hutton can you contact razzars cafe or call ın you have left something here thanks

07/05/2026

It has now been 5 days since Craig Ramskill “Ramma” officially retired from football after claiming his ankle was “finished” following the injury he suffered back in February.

Now at the time, we all believed him.

Messages of support poured in.
People checked in on his mental health.
Some lads even considered doing a sponsored walk for him.

But looking back now… the signs were there.

Three weeks after allegedly breaking his ankle…

Ramma was spotted bouncing around Turkey watching Galatasaray like a 19-year-old ultra on his first lads holiday.

Not limping.
Not in a protective boot.
Not resting.

Just absolutely flying around Istanbul eating kebabs, shouting at tourists and moving more freely than he ever did in midfield.

Medical experts are calling it:

“The greatest recovery since Jesus.”

Fat Dads United feel deceived.

The man had us believing his ankle exploded, meanwhile he was in Turkey two-stepping outside a ho**ah bar with full range of motion.

However we forgive him and since his departure Fat Dads United hasn’t been the same since.

The WhatsApp group has gone quiet.
The banter has dropped off a cliff.
The warm embrace of our fat dad cuddly bear is no longer there.

Some of the lads are currently seeking professional help to find other comforts in life. It’s been a dark few days.

One player reportedly hugged a traffic cone at work because he missed the shape of Ramma standing with his hands on his hips shouting:

“WAKE UP LADS.”

Even worse… Razzas Café are on the brink of administration.

Since retirement, Ramma hasn’t stepped foot inside once.

Funny that.

The SECOND he found out he had to pay full price instead of abusing the Fat Dads discount like it was a government benefit scheme, he vanished quicker than his football career.

Staff at Razzas are devastated.

Every morning they still prepare:

* A full English
* Extra hash browns
* Extra sausage
* Spam & Bean Butty
* A large latte
* And a Diet Coke purely for “balance”

Only for it to sit there untouched while the owner quietly whispers:

“He’s not coming, is he?”

We understand bowls is your priority now, Ramma.

A sport where the average heart rate is lower than yours after a mixed grill.

A sport where you can dominate physically while still technically being stationary.

But please… come back.

You don’t even have to play.

Just stand on the sidelines:

* Shout “UNLUCKY” after every terrible pass
* Pull your shorts up to your ni***es
* Tell everyone how good you “used to be”
* Ask the ref how long’s left after 8 minutes
* Breathing like a faulty radiator
* Telling everyone you “could’ve gone semi-pro” despite needing a sit down after tying your laces.

As Jamie McGeachy emotionally said:

“My wife’s threatened to leave me because all I talk about is Ramma.”

Please Craig.

If not for the boys…
If not for Fat Dads United…
If not for the game…

Do it for the café discounts and the memories. ❤️⚽🎳

12/04/2026

Congratulations to all of our Easter treat winners 😊 we have one remaining raffle ticket for ‘Karen’ if you could please get in touch pick up your mini hamper! We hope all winners enjoyed their treats 😊 thank you to all who participated ❤️ keep a look out for your next chance ☺️

04/04/2026

The winners of the Facebook Easter hampers are Gemma Darley & Mick Huffee. Congratulations please contact us to arrange collecting your hampers. Happy Easter to all of our amazing customers!

01/04/2026

A chance to win some Easter goodies from Razzars cafe !
All you need to do is like this post and tag 3 friends. You must also follow the page.
Good luck …😊
2 winners will be picked at random on Saturday .
Keep an eye on the page for winners 😊

01/04/2026

Happy Easter to all of our amazing customers.As a thank you we will be giving customers a chance to with some Easter treats. We appreciate all of you, thank you for choosing Razzars !😊

10/03/2026

Happy birthday chef 👨‍🍳

08/03/2026

💐💐

01/03/2026

Well done boys 👏👏

⚽️ Match Report: Fat Dads United vs Duke Of Yorks (Charity Friendly)

Today the lads were delighted to be back at South Park… on an actual real-life GRASS pitch 😍

After what feels like 47 years of playing on the 4G at Snaith Playing Fields where your knees leave part of themselves behind every time you slide tackle, it was nice to be back on the soft stuff where falling over only damages your pride instead of removing three layers of skin.

Special mention to Jamie McGeachy who was absolutely in his element today – able to safely tuck his v**e into his sock and enjoy a leisurely puff between tracking back. No clean air zones in Old Goole and it showed 🚬💨 Elite athlete behaviour.

5’ – Borom assists, down the line to Matty Walker who slots home. 1-0
16’ – Ezza miskicks it like last weeks boxers were still wrapped around his ankles, ball ends up in the net anyway. 2-0
19’ – Borom to Cooper, whose shot was heading for a throw-in before Matty Walker intervened and tucked it away. 3-0
25’ – Borom with some outrageous footwork (we suspect a different man in his shirt) crosses for Walker again. 4-0
33’ – Opposition with a tidy finish over the top. 4-1
41’ – Keeper saves, they follow up. 4-2

Half time: oranges, ice packs and several lads googling “tight hamstring or am I dying?”

50’ – Goal kick intercepted by Danny Shaw, headed into Borom’s path who finishes. 5-2
52’ – Handball. Up steps Julius… and adds another entry to the archives alongside Ramma’s NASA launch last season 🚀
66’ – Shaw through to Borom. 6-2
72’ – Cooper assists Shaw. 7-2
78’ – Coops slots into the bottom corner. 8-2
80’ - Sheriff steps up to a penalty after coops was fouled but saved by the keeper
82’ – Harrison assists Shaw. 9-2
86’ – They pull one back with an outrageous goal well played
88’ – And another

Full Time: 9-4

Massive thanks to Duke Of Yorks for coming over – great bunch of lads who gave us a proper game and scored some quality goals 👏 Hopefully we can get another one sorted soon!

Great run out for the boys.

Man of the Match: Julius – rock solid at the back (penalty very much not included)

Thanks as always to our sponsors over at
Salko
Marritt Electrical Ltd
Razzars CAFE Goole
Oldgooleclub Goole
KP Transfers
Gatesby Road golocalextra Goole
WatchMySix