19/09/2026
⚠️ IMPORTANT STAFF ANNOUNCEMENT ⚠️
So folks… unfortunately, Team House of Zaikha has had to fire Lisa.
Following the events of Friday night, we conducted a thorough internal investigation.
Unfortunately, the evidence against her was overwhelming.
MISTAKE NO. 1
Four adults arrived at 6.45pm and ordered from the kids’ menu.
Her 14-year-old business consultant immediately raised concerns:
“Mum! They’re ADULTS! It’s wrong in principle!”
Lisa ignored professional advice and overruled him.
First mistake.
The guests ate, complimented the food and everything was going beautifully.
Until…
THE £86.20 BILL.
Apparently charging for the papadums and chutneys they’d ordered was “naughty.” 😅
We entered our rebellious chutney era. 😝
Which brings us to…
MISTAKE NO. 2
Team House of Zaikha would also like an explanation as to why, on a fully booked Friday night when we were turning tables away, Lisa managed to feed 4 adults for £86.20. 😭😂
She best not be complaining when payday arrives. 🤣
We’ll be raising this separately at her disciplinary.
Moving swiftly on…
By 8.30pm, one of the team had been into the kitchen what felt like approximately 15 times with questions from the same table, survived the earlier Sweet & Sour Sauce Inquiry, and had now found himself at the centre of…
CHUTNEYGATE. 😭🤣
With 8 orders still waiting to be prepped, Lisa was summoned from the kitchen.
“Not Table 2 again…” 😭
The team member who’d spent the evening being told how “naughty” he was?
Absolutely HOWLING. 🤣🤣🤣
His face basically said:
“You wanted Lisa. You’ve GOT Lisa. Good luck.” 😭🤣
After a rather LOUD discussion, the guests announced:
“We’ll pay, but we’re NEVER coming back!”
Lisa replied:
“With all due respect, I don’t want you back here again.”
Which brings us to…
MISTAKE NO. 3
Lisa walked away, told us to take full payment, and left her 14-year-old business consultant to take the card payment.
Huge error.
Because one of the ladies, still ranting about Lisa, announced:
“WATCH HER GET FIRED!”
His response?
“She’s the owner.”
Pin. Drop. Silence. 🤐
And Lisa MISSED IT.
Frankly, unforgivable. 😭🤣
Which brings us to our final finding…
MISTAKE NO. 4
The guests had announced:
“We’re NEVER coming back!”
And Lisa…
didn’t even walk them out. 😭
Apparently basic hospitality standards have completely collapsed.
If a guest tells you they’re never coming back, the very least you can do is see them safely to the door. 😂
Another serious breach identified by our investigation.
We would also like to apologise to our other diners who unexpectedly received an episode of The Real Housewives of Table 2 with their Friday-night dinner. 🤣❤️
Following our very thorough investigation, Team House of Zaikha has taken the difficult decision to terminate Lisa’s employment with immediate effect.
Unfortunately, we have since discovered one minor operational issue…
Nobody else wants her job. 😭
So unless you lot vote to keep her fired…
she’ll be back in the kitchen tonight. 😂❤️