Rampant Horse Fakenham

24/09/2026

🎯 THE LADIES HAVE ENTERED THE OCHE… AND THEY MEAN BUSINESS! 🎯

Forget the pub darts stereotype — this lot look like they’ve just signed a five-year deal with Sky Sports and developed an unhealthy obsession with double 16. 😂

🔥 Six players.
🎯 Six sets of arrows.
😈 Absolutely ZERO intention of behaving themselves.

The shirts are on, the darts are sharpened and the walk-on music is probably far more dramatic than the actual standard of darts deserves. Expect 180s, 26s, accidental treble ones, outrageous celebrations and somebody spending nine darts trying to hit double 1.

From BULLSEYE BLONDE to DARK ARROW, THE FINISHER to BRAIDED BULLSEYE — these ladies aren’t here to make up the numbers.

They’re here to THROW. CAUSE CHAOS. AND LOOK BLOODY PROFESSIONAL DOING IT. 🎯🔥

Welcome to the glamorous world of RAMP DARTS — where the eyeliner is sharp, but hopefully the darts are sharper.

GAME ON, LADIES. 👑🎯🍻

24/09/2026

⚔️🎤 STAND AND DELIVER… YOUR WORST VOCALS! 🎤⚔️

Pete’s gone full Prince Charming for one night only — eyeliner deployed, pirate gear polished and absolutely no room for Goody Two Shoes. 😂

🔥 PETE’S KARAOKE PARTY — 8PM 🔥

Whether you’re a Desperate But Not Serious singer, a New Romantic nightmare, or your vocal range is basically Antmusic played through a knackered lawnmower, grab the mic and give it everything.

🎶 Don’t Drink, Don’t Smoke… WHAT DO YOU DO?
Well, apparently you come down The Ramp and butcher a classic in front of strangers. 😂

Swagger optional.
Eyeliner encouraged.
Talent completely unnecessary.

🏴‍☠️ RIDICULE IS NOTHING TO BE SCARED OF.

8PM — THE RAMP
🎤 STAND AND DELIVER! 🐜⚔️

21/09/2026

🎟️🥩 THE RAMP RAFFLE HAS GONE COMPLETELY OFF ITS TROLLEY! 🥩🎟️

Apparently Bingo wasn’t enough chaos, so we’re GIVING STUFF AWAY AS WELL! 🤪

💥 TWO £50 PRIZES UP FOR GRABS! 💥

🥩 £50 PAPWORTH BUTCHERS VOUCHER
Enough meat to become SULTAN OF SAUSAGE for the week. 🌭👑

🎁 £50 ONE4ALL VOUCHER
For something sensible… or something completely unnecessary. 😂

🎟️ TICKETS £2 A STRIP — AVAILABLE AT THE BAR NOW!

🔥 DRAWN 30TH SEPT AFTER BINGO 🔥

Two cracking prizes. One draw. A suspicious amount of excitement over sausages.

Somebody has to win…

MIGHT AS WELL BE SOME LUNATIC FROM THE RAMP. 🤡🍺🥩🎉

20/09/2026

17/09/2026

🎤 TONIGHT AT THE RAMP — WE’RE GOING FULL 80s! 🎤🔥

Dig out the hairspray, squeeze yourself into something questionably fluorescent and prepare for a night with more balls, arrows, football and dodgy singing than any sensible pub should attempt in one evening. 😂

🎱 BINGO — FROM 5PM
Eyes down as the balls start rattling. Expect prizes, booze, banter and the usual complete disregard for bingo-hall etiquette. If 69 comes out, try to behave like adults. Nobody will.

⚽ MAN CITY v NORWICH CITY — 19.30
The Canaries head into battle with Manchester City. 🐤⚔️🔵 Big screens, cold pints and the possibility of Norwich doing something that causes the entire pub to lose its collective mind.

🎯 LADIES DARTS LEAGUE — 8PM
The ladies take over the oche. Big hair. Sharp arrows. Absolutely no mercy. Girls throw better — apparently tonight we find out. 💅🎯

🎤 PETE’S KARAOKE PARTY — 8PM
And then… WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO! Pete has apparently undergone a deeply unnecessary 1980s transformation and is ready to unleash his inner pop superstar. 😂🕶️

Expect Faith, Careless Whisper, Wham!, power ballads, New Wave, rock, pop, guilty pleasures and several songs that really should have remained on cassette.

💜 Neon.
💙 Big hair.
💛 Bigger tunes.
🩷 Even bigger mistakes.

BINGO • FOOTBALL • DARTS • KARAOKE

📍 THE RAMP
🍺 Good drinks. Great people. Epic times.

⚡ SAME BAR. DIFFERENT DECADE. ⚡

Tonight we’re not growing old gracefully…
WE’RE GOING BACK TO THE 80s. 🕺🎤📼🔥

15/09/2026

🚨 TUESDAY AT THE RAMP — WE APPEAR TO HAVE MISPLACED THE ADULT SUPERVISION. 🚨

Scientists warned us this could happen.

At approximately 12 noon, Tuesday will collide with The Ramp, creating a highly unstable mixture of Tombola, free pool, football, poker and the Princess of Darkness.

The council has been informed.
They’ve stopped answering our calls.

👑 TOMBOLA TUESDAY — 12–7PM

Buy a drink. Draw a ticket.

Ends in 0 or 5?

💥 SAME DRINK FREE.

Ends in anything else?

Nothing happens.

Absolutely nothing.

You simply stare at the ticket while the Princess of Darkness stares at you like a disappointed Victorian undertaker.

Do not challenge her.

Do not question the Tombola.

THE TOMBOLA KNOWS.

🎱 FREE POOL — 12–7PM

We’ve removed the financial barrier between you and discovering that you’re nowhere near as good at pool as you remember.

FREE POOL.

Seven hours of:

“Two shots.”

“No it isn’t.”

“Yes it is.”

“Who moved the white?”

“THAT WAS GOING IN.”

“No it wasn’t, Gary.”

Then, at approximately 19.45, the building develops THREE SEPARATE FOOTBALL PERSONALITIES.

🎯 DART ROOM — 20.00
🔴 LIVERPOOL vs TOTTENHAM ⚪

Liverpool. Spurs. Darts.

A combination specifically forbidden by several lesser-known passages of the Geneva Convention.

🍺 MAIN BAR — 19.45
⚒️ WEST HAM vs FULHAM ⚫⚪

The Hammers meet the Cottagers.

Which sounds less like Premier League football and more like two rival factions fighting over a village fête.

Expect bubbles.

Expect shouting.

Expect somebody to explain the offside rule incorrectly with enormous confidence.

🎱 POOL ROOM — 20.00
🔵 IPSWICH vs ARSENAL 🔴

The Tractor Boys versus the Gunners.

TRACTORS.

GUNS.

POOL CUES.

What could possibly go wrong?

🚜💥🎱

Meanwhile…

♠️♥️ REDTOOTH POKER LEAGUE — 20.00 ♦️♣️

A shadowy collection of card-based desperados gather around a table pretending they understand probability.

Someone will go ALL IN.

Someone will dramatically remove their glasses.

Someone will say:

“I knew you had it.”

They did not know.

Nobody knows anything anymore.

By 8.17pm there will be football in three rooms, poker underway, abandoned Tombola tickets in pockets, pool cues pointing in dangerous directions and the Princess of Darkness roaming the premises like a gothic Ofsted inspector.

And somehow…

THE PUB IS STILL FUNCTIONING.

🍺🍺🍺

So abandon your sensible Tuesday.

Cancel the ironing.

Leave that courgette in the fridge.

Tell Duolingo the owl you’ll deal with him tomorrow.

Get yourself to THE RAMP.

⚽ 3 FOOTBALL MATCHES
🎱 FREE POOL
🎟️ TOMBOLA
♠️ POKER
👑 ONE PRINCESS OF DARKNESS
🧠 ABSOLUTELY NO GUARANTEE OF RATIONAL BEHAVIOUR

THE RAMP — WHERE TUESDAY GOES WHEN WEDNESDAY HAS REFUSED TO HAVE IT.

🍺⚽🎱👑🎟️♠️

Good beer. Great sport. Questionable decisions. Industrial quantities of nonsense.

See you there.

Bring money.

Bring enthusiasm.

DO NOT BRING A TRACTOR. 🚜

12/09/2026

Lucy Halliday Claire Peden Stephanie Potter Nina Frary