24/04/2026
So yesterday my dad died.
I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling. I have so much I want to say about him but equally the words just feel stuck in my throat.
There are a million things I want to say about the man he was.
He was 89. He was very poorly, truth be told he had been gradually deteriorating over the last couple of years, it crept up on us but also hit us all at once. The last 6 months have been so hard, he was anaemic but nobody could figure out why.
In Feb he got diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukaemia. The last few weeks he’s hardly left the house, he was becoming weaker & less able to look after himself. It’s been so hard to see this strong, fit, incredibly capable man shrinking physically & becoming less than he was.
He was still my dad but I was losing a little bit more of him every day.
To me he was always my safe space, my steady hand & my biggest critic. I knew he was proud of me but would never tell me that, just other people.
My children have been so lucky to have had him in their lives, he taught them so much & they have so many memories of him & mum being there for them. They stepped up & supported me when I was on my own.
They were more than grandparents to my kids.
I’ve always known he was respected & liked by a lot of people but already, since yesterday, I’m hearing new stories about how kind he was, how much he helped others, how steady & solid he was.
Stuff I’ve never heard.
I know this is just the beginning.
I’m trying to take comfort in the fact that he’s with mum now, he’s not suffering anymore, he won’t be deteriorating further, he can rest now.
You’ve been incredible dad, you’ve always been there for me & then my children too, you’ve been the best man I’ve ever known & set the bar very high.
I’m glad I chose you to be my dad in this life.
You are & have always been my hero.
Till we meet again dad.
I love you ❤️
