Bispham Cons 'Bispham Conservative Club'

28/09/2026

21/09/2026

Oi oi! Times time folks. Bispham Cons update has arrived. Well it’s been a minute since I posted the video of the nice family offering to look after our property. Over 91 thousand views and not a single offer of a return. Although, it’s probably best we move on because I’m starting to get a complex from all the people asking if I’ve ’found my heart yet’. I know I come across as pretty miserable, but in reality I’m clearly just pretty…
But moving on, quickly, we’ve got another weekend to look towards, because that’s how time works. It doesn’t just stop. It’s forever moving. The brain does not experience time like a video camera. Memories and emotional states make time feel faster or slower. So basically, if you’re looking forward to this weekend, it might seem like a lifetime away. For me, it’ll be here in no time…
Oh man, I’m joking, hold the complaints. Anyway, here’s your artistes for the weekend.

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🍖 MEAT RAFFLE EVERY SUNDAY 🍖
🥩 TICKETS AVAILABLE BEHIND THE BAR 🥩
Last Weeks Winning No. 43546
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💷🎟️ TOTE DOUBLE EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT 🎟️💷
Last Weeks Numbers 8 - 28
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🎱💷 Bispham Cons Bonus Ball 💷🎱
🤞🏻 Next £1000 Draw is October 3rd 🤞🏻
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🔹Friday🔹 - START THE PARTY are here! This energetic trio is here to Start The Party! But come midnight, we’ll have our less energetic trio of Tony, Joe and Paul as End The Party basically shooing people out the door.
Anyway, stop that now, because on top of that we’ve got a few games of the ever popular bingo!, as well as a white hot raffle.

🔹Saturday🔹- KAREN HARVEY is back! Karen is a true professional female vocal entertainer with a fun and cheeky personality who has performed at venues large and small throughout the North West and beyond in her career.
Joining the Karen will be bingo! With a sneaky raffle on the side (depending on Tony knowing whether the people will buy). Oooo, touch my face!

🔹Sunday🔹 - We’ve got Paul’s entertainment afternoon from 3-6pm and he’s got 4 games of bingo, a quiz, play your cards right, HOY bingo with the potential of a bit of karaoke thrown in. All sewn together with a host of music and videos.
The biggest secret of them all is still going on on a Sunday night. It’s BINGO NIGHT!! Honestly, it’s three games, it’s fifty quid a game guaranteed, so it’s well worth a try, don’t you think!? We’ve also got DJ Malcolm spinning the cd’s and T Figz manning the Tote Double! So come on, get on down!

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Mondays🔶🔸
Because they are also days of the week and we get lonely. Please come in. Just come in!!

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Tuesdays🔶🔸
There’s no line dancing anymore unfortunately. But on the plus side for many of you, there’s no line dancing anymore.

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Wednesdays🔶🔸
If ever you’ve wanted to experience cringe SO hard it’ll go through you like a knife through a very hard to cut cheese. I mean it’ll linger. It’ll stay in your soul if you let it. It’s honestly quite haunting…
But if that’s your bag, come on down. If you’re lucky, you’ll be able to hear the distant cries of a man that’s really not good at darts, as well as the not so distant cries of a man that’s possibly even worse at dominoes.
What you may also like to know, is that we have a small in-house group of people who put on little pantomimes and drama shows for charity. It’s free to join, inclusivity is key and it’s a great way to meet new people. No experience needed or necessary. If you need to use a script on the night then so be it. So come down any Wednesday night and see Marie and the gang of North Shore All Players.

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Thursdays QUIZ & BINGO🔶🔸
Thursday nights are just crazy! I mean INSANE! We’ve got our boy Malcolm doing what’s quite possibly the easiest quiz this side of the equator. So grab 26 of your mates, coz you’ll probably need them to get a very average score and have a chance to win £30! We also have two games of BINGO with a guaranteed £50 a game!

⚫️ Please also be aware that the only information I’m ever given on an artiste is their name. Everything after that is purely based on fiction and meant for entertainment purposes. It’s just jokes bro, and not good ones! 🫠✊🏻

14/09/2026

Hey guys! Bispham Cons update time! Crazy week that was. The highlight of course being the ever popular Deadbeats. Great night and well observed by all. Band night again this Friday, so don’t be shy…
Stopped by to see my leg doctor on Friday. We’re practically friends at this stage. Apart from telling me I was an absolute mystery, he also mentioned that the veins in my legs are so incompetent, they’re the worst he’s seen in 15 years as a surgeon. We’ve all gotta be good at something I suppose, and I’m the best at having bad legs! Come at me, bro!
Anyway, I best get back to playing with the coffee machine. I don’t even like coffee, so I should be the one taste testing it really. 🤔

———————————————————————————
🍖 MEAT RAFFLE EVERY SUNDAY 🍖
🥩 TICKETS AVAILABLE BEHIND THE BAR 🥩
Last Weeks Winning No. 42864
———————————————————————————
———————————————————————————
💷🎟️ TOTE DOUBLE EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT 🎟️💷
Last Weeks Numbers 5 - 20
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———————————————————————————
🎱💷 Bispham Cons Bonus Ball 💷🎱
🤞🏻 Next £1000 Draw is October 3rd 🤞🏻
———————————————————————————

🔹Friday🔹 - MARTINI BLONDE are back! Martini Blonde are a collection of talented musicians and singers, covering a cocktail of hits past and present. That’s right, it’s band night again! Don’t miss this one.
Anyway, stop that now, because on top of that we’ve got a few games of the ever popular bingo!, as well as a white hot raffle.

🔹Saturday🔹- STEVE PROCTER is here! Steve is an influential figure in popular music. He’s known for his artistic reinventions and multi-genre performances… Wait, sorry, that’s Justin Bieber. I always get those two mixed up.
Joining the Steve will be bingo! With a sneaky raffle on the side (depending on Tony knowing whether the people will buy). Oooo, touch my face!

🔹Sunday🔹 - We’ve got Paul’s entertainment afternoon from 3-6pm and he’s got 4 games of bingo, a quiz, play your cards right, HOY bingo with the potential of a bit of karaoke thrown in. All sewn together with a host of music and videos.
The biggest secret of them all is still going on on a Sunday night. It’s BINGO NIGHT!! Honestly, it’s three games, it’s fifty quid a game guaranteed, so it’s well worth a try, don’t you think!? We’ve also got DJ Malcolm spinning the cd’s and T Figz manning the Tote Double! So come on, get on down!

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Mondays🔶🔸
Because they are also days of the week and we get lonely. Please come in. Just come in!!

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Tuesdays🔶🔸
There’s no line dancing anymore unfortunately. But on the plus side for many of you, there’s no line dancing anymore.

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Wednesdays🔶🔸
If ever you’ve wanted to experience cringe SO hard it’ll go through you like a knife through a very hard to cut cheese. I mean it’ll linger. It’ll stay in your soul if you let it. It’s honestly quite haunting…
But if that’s your bag, come on down. If you’re lucky, you’ll be able to hear the distant cries of a man that’s really not good at darts, as well as the not so distant cries of a man that’s possibly even worse at dominoes.
What you may also like to know, is that we have a small in-house group of people who put on little pantomimes and drama shows for charity. It’s free to join, inclusivity is key and it’s a great way to meet new people. No experience needed or necessary. If you need to use a script on the night then so be it. So come down any Wednesday night and see Marie and the gang of North Shore All Players.

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Thursdays QUIZ & BINGO🔶🔸
Thursday nights are just crazy! I mean INSANE! We’ve got our boy Malcolm doing what’s quite possibly the easiest quiz this side of the equator. So grab 26 of your mates, coz you’ll probably need them to get a very average score and have a chance to win £30! We also have two games of BINGO with a guaranteed £50 a game!

⚫️ Please also be aware that the only information I’m ever given on an artiste is their name. Everything after that is purely based on fiction and meant for entertainment purposes. It’s just jokes bro, and not good ones! 🫠✊🏻

07/09/2026

Well that was a week. And here’s to another one at Bispham Cons. I’m still here, for now. Still talking rubbish. Not sure it’ll be long before I’m replaced by shiny AI pictures of what’s going on. Straight to the point. Don’t get me wrong, some of them are pretty good and considering the average persons attention span is about a nanosecond, it makes sense. I just don’t like it personally. It’s all about moving forward though isn’t it? And hey, if it’s good enough for Dr. Dre, maybe AI really is the future. But personally, I’d rather create something than have a robot create it for me. Now, who’s with me!?

Vive la révolution!

…and on that note, John, can you send me this weeks artiste picture so I can stick it on the Club page 😬

———————————————————————————
🍖 MEAT RAFFLE EVERY SUNDAY 🍖
🥩 TICKETS AVAILABLE BEHIND THE BAR 🥩
Last Weeks Winning No. 42260
———————————————————————————
———————————————————————————
💷🎟️ TOTE DOUBLE EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT 🎟️💷
Last Weeks Numbers 10 - 11
———————————————————————————
———————————————————————————
🎱💷 Bispham Cons Bonus Ball 💷🎱
🤞🏻 Next £1000 Draw is October 3rd 🤞🏻
———————————————————————————
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⭐️⭐️ The DEADBEATS ⭐️⭐️
THIS FRIDAY. Tickets £5.00
—————————🎶🎶🎶🎶—————————

🔹Friday🔹 - THE DEADBEATS are back! That’s right. They’re back. Get in early for this one as it’s tickets on the door. £5 each. When they’re gone, they’re gone.
Anyway, stop that now, because on top of that we’ve got a few games of the ever popular bingo!, as well as a white hot raffle.

🔹Saturday🔹- BACK 2 BACK are back to back! Everyone’s favourite dynamic duo are back. Patsy and Dave are back 2 bring their energy back to the back room of The Club. Back.
Joining the duo will be bingo! With a sneaky raffle on the side (depending on Tony knowing whether the people will buy). Oooo, touch my face!

🔹Sunday🔹 - We’ve got Paul’s entertainment afternoon from 3-6pm and he’s got 4 games of bingo, a quiz, play your cards right, HOY bingo with the potential of a bit of karaoke thrown in. All sewn together with a host of music and videos.
The biggest secret of them all is still going on on a Sunday night. It’s BINGO NIGHT!! Honestly, it’s three games, it’s fifty quid a game guaranteed, so it’s well worth a try, don’t you think!? We’ve also got DJ Malcolm spinning the cd’s and T Figz manning the Tote Double! So come on, get on down!

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Mondays🔶🔸
Because they are also days of the week and we get lonely. Please come in. Just come in!!

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Tuesdays🔶🔸
There’s no line dancing anymore unfortunately. But on the plus side for many of you, there’s no line dancing anymore.

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Wednesdays🔶🔸
If ever you’ve wanted to experience cringe SO hard it’ll go through you like a knife through a very hard to cut cheese. I mean it’ll linger. It’ll stay in your soul if you let it. It’s honestly quite haunting…
But if that’s your bag, come on down. If you’re lucky, you’ll be able to hear the distant cries of a man that’s really not good at darts, as well as the not so distant cries of a man that’s possibly even worse at dominoes.
What you may also like to know, is that we have a small in-house group of people who put on little pantomimes and drama shows for charity. It’s free to join, inclusivity is key and it’s a great way to meet new people. No experience needed or necessary. If you need to use a script on the night then so be it. So come down any Wednesday night and see Marie and the gang of North Shore All Players.

🔸🔶Don’t forget about Thursdays QUIZ & BINGO🔶🔸
Thursday nights are just crazy! I mean INSANE! We’ve got our boy Malcolm doing what’s quite possibly the easiest quiz this side of the equator. So grab 26 of your mates, coz you’ll probably need them to get a very average score and have a chance to win £30! We also have two games of BINGO with a guaranteed £50 a game!

⚫️ Please also be aware that the only information I’m ever given on an artiste is their name. Everything after that is purely based on fiction and meant for entertainment purposes. It’s just jokes bro, and not good ones! 🫠✊🏻

05/09/2026

We have our winners!

Board 1: Lynda Jones
Board 2: Jodie Matthews
Board 3: Tom Kennedy

Congratulations everyone! £1000 each!