Schmaltz Appetizing

09/26/2026

SCHMALTZ AT NIGHT triumphantly returning for another pass around the weekend sat-sun 5-930 wishing you were all here and don’t you ever forget PICKLE SHMICKLE anytime MAC N CHEESE OK ✅

09/25/2026

Show me what bagel you order and I’ll tell you who you are. Bagel horoscopes all day everyday.

09/24/2026

SCHMALTZ AT NIGHT
PICKLE SHMICKLE LOBSTER 🦞 MAC N CHEESE
As we (you n I) cozy up w the Fall weather, flannels and Canadian tuxedoes we are delighted to introduce to you
PICKLE SHMICKLE LOBSTER 🦞 MAC N CHEESE
Queso Mac n cheese w dill pickles and dill pickle bread crumbs and a lil lobster all sauced up w a chive and garlic butter and some more pickles 👍 .
RIVER JUST WOW riv
THURSDAY TO SUNDAY 5-930

09/23/2026

09/22/2026

The day is young and I am here to tell you that without a shadow of a doubt it will be better with me in it.

09/21/2026

OPEN UNTIL 3pm today for all your Yom Kippur Break Fast needs and desires. Thank you for your attention in this matter.

09/20/2026

SOLD OUT TODAY. SEE YOU FOR BREAK FAST TOMORROW

09/19/2026

Built different. Built tough. Schmaltz Tough. But actually quite soft and sensitive.

09/18/2026

Dill Cukes for days but eat a cuke a day and you shall thrive in my books of books o dill Cukes w adore you. And you know who you are the one w the gift of a dill Cukes pickle of all pickles. 🥒

09/17/2026

As we SCHMALTZ at NIGHT into the weekend it’s important to know that sometimes two wieners is better than one. Bring a friend. Don’t bring a friend. All beef wieners. All goodness. 5-930 Thursday to Sunday.

09/16/2026

Latkes are life so life is crispy and life is potato and life is a latke.

09/15/2026

Hi. Good morning. What a beautiful day it is. What a brilliant person you are. What a yummy bagel I am. Yom Kippur preorders on the website

09/10/2026

I think we can all agree that SCHMALTZ AT NIGHT is awesome. Thu-Sun 5-930 and that SCHMALTZ AT NIGHT loved a wiener and that SCHMALTZ AT NIGHT IS VERY VERY GOOD LOOKING and that SCHMALTZ AT NIGHT loves a wiener. See you this weekend.

09/09/2026

ROSH HASHANAH AND YOM KIPPUR preorders for platters and just all around goodness of the appetizing and herring of course.

09/08/2026

A CALL TO ORDER SOME SCHMALTZ.
ROSH HASHANAH LUNCH on the 12th.
YOM KIPPUR BREAK FAST on the 21st.
We have PLATTERS. Big beautiful sexy awesomeness SCHMALTZ APPETIZING PLATTERS.
OF COURSE WE GOT Bagels. Lox. Smoked fish. Cream cheeses. All the appetizing stuffs. All the fat pasha dips.
Also SICK AWESOME BABKAS.
AND FRIED YUMMY LATKES.
AND GIANT SMARTIE COOKIES
And other delicious Jewish things to put on the table whist family stand around talking about how handsome and funny and sweet and sexy I am.
Order the platters.
Order the babkas.
Order the latkes.
Order too much.
This is the way.
That’s the holiday.

09/08/2026

True Love is Babka. Chocolate to be sure. True Love is Babka. Cinnamon to be clear. I’m just here for love. ❤️

09/06/2026

CLOSED MONDAY - GONE FISHING ish

09/05/2026

Double Stuff w Smoked Meat Pastrami Double Stuff w Smoked Meat Pastrami. Mmmmmmm Double. Stuffed. Good morning

09/04/2026

Bagels are my name but latkes are my game. Dunno. Sounded funny out loud.

09/03/2026

SCHMALTZ AT NIGHT
AN ODE TO THE WIENER
Hot. Snappy. Salty.
Mustard. Bun. Done.
Tonight we honour the tube.
Long live the wiener.
THURSDAY TO SUNDAY
5-930

09/02/2026

No party like a lox schmaltz party smithy?!

09/01/2026

Let’s go to the ex but what I really mean is let’s go to the schmaltz. See ya there. At the ex. But the schmaltz. You know what I mean.

08/31/2026

SHTINKER IRL is something to be thankful of and beyond beautiful for being the bagel of the month club. TOASTED AND BUTTERED AND HERRING AND ONION AND GRAVLAX AND CUKES and that’s it but that’s a lot. Let’s eat.

08/30/2026

SCHMALTZ AT NIGHT lobster 🦞 gets all the glory but the #67 is quietly but quickly becoming the hero. House Smoked eat Pastrami, Swiss Cheese, Ezell’s Sweet Slaw, Russian on Kimmel Rye. TONIGHT 5-930 bb

08/28/2026

Setting a table is less like checkers by thinking a good game of Backgammon and you’ll understand what I’m talking about. Or not. I certainly don’t understand this guy at all BUT WHOA THAT CAULIFLOWER IS GORGEOUS