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Monday 7am - 4pm Tuesday 7am - 4pm Wednesday 7am - 4pm Thursday 7am - 3pm Friday 7am - 4pm Saturday 8am - 3pm Sunday 8am - 3pm

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Heritage Coffee Van, Maffra (2026)

29/01/2026

Friday has arrived and the tin can temple of caffeine is awake. ☕🔥
The Heritage Coffee Van stands here like a weathered gladiator, ready to do battle with sleepy eyes, weak attitudes, and anyone who thinks servo coffee counts as “living”.

This isn’t a café.
This is a mobile morale unit with an espresso machine and questionable judgment.

If your brain feels like a Windows 95 startup noise…
If your soul needs a double shot of purpose…
If your week has treated you like a burnt long black…

You know where to find me.
Come get a cup of motivation with a side of sarcasm and zero corporate foam art.

Friday.
No excuses.
Only beans. 💥

28/01/2026

Krisso has returned from the land of smoke, dust and questionable sleep… and straight into a collab so country it grew a mullet and started listening to Slim Dusty.

Ladies and gentlemen, today’s episode of Heritage Meets Absolute Unit features:

☕ Heritage Coffee Van
🤠
🚛 One truck so big I had to move my entire business three metres to the left like a respectful peasant

They’re here. I’m here. The vibes are aggressively wholesome but delivered with industrial-strength caffeine.

Ringers Western is all about heritage, hard work, quality gear and country life.
I’m all about heritage, hard work, quality beans and yelling at people before 7am.
So basically… this partnership was inevitable. Like a cowboy and a flat white. Like denim and regret. Like me and bad financial decisions.

I’ve parked up next to their rolling blue denim palace of a truck and now my van looks like a support act at a stadium tour.
If this thing revs its engine, I’m pretty sure my grinder will start vibrating in fear.

Come grab a coffee.
Come admire the rig.
Come witness two heritage brands accidentally forming the most Gippsland collab of 2026.

No hype. No influencers.
Just coffee, cowboys and a truck that could tow my entire personality.

📍BP Raglan St
☕ Best beans
🤠 Big hats
🚛 Emotional support semi-trailer

Match made in heaven. Or at least in a servo carpark. ☕️🤘

27/01/2026

🚨 PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT 🚨

Heritage Coffee Van will NOT be trading tomorrow, WEDNESDAY 28th…
Not because I’ve gone soft.
Not because I slept in.
Not because the milk ran out.

But because I’ve been sent to Dargo with the CFA to help out with fire duties. If you turn up and find no coffee… blame fire. 🔥

So while I’d much rather be slinging coffees and talking nonsense with you lot, tomorrow I’ll be out in the bush doing slightly less caffeinated but equally chaotic things.

No coffee.
No toasties.
Just radios, dust, and wondering why I didn’t pack more snacks.

Back as soon as I can with burnt boots and extra attitude.
Stay safe. Drink bad coffee somewhere else (just this once).

25/01/2026

7.
Final boss level.
Australia Day. 🇦🇺

Most of you are lying in the shade waiting for sausages and citizenship ceremonies.
I am standing in a dented aluminium war machine, running purely on espresso, ice cream and unresolved childhood ambition.

I’m tired.
I’m broken.
I’m an old bloke pretending he’s still 23 with a blender and a dream.

Shakes are flowing.
Iced tea has been irresponsibly added to the menu.
Because why stop now when chaos is working so well.

And yes… I can now confirm:
Albo rang.
Said, “Krisso, mate, we’d like to make you Australian of the Year for services to caffeine and community.”

I said,
“Yeah nah mate… I can’t.
I’ve got a caravan full of coffee addicts waiting and a milkshake machine that doesn’t trust itself.”

Duty calls.
The nation can wait.
Glenmaggie needs me now.

This is my LAST DAY here for this run.
No quiet exits.
No gentle fade outs.
Only loud grinders, cold shakes and reckless hydration.

If you’re hot.
If you’re hungover.
If your kids are feral.
If your soul is dry.

Find the tin can.
Drink the beans.
Witness history.

This is not a coffee van.
This is a federally unrecognised public service.

ONE.
LAST.
DANCE.

Let’s finish this marathon like absolute legends. 🤘☀️☕🥤

24/01/2026

It’s 31 degrees.
It’s Day 6 of a 7-day coffee endurance event.
And the caravan park is now wall-to-wall with people who brought oat milk, yoga mats, and emotional support keep cups.

You were expecting:
• terrazzo floors
• latte art shaped like feelings
• a barista named Hugo

Instead you found:
A sun-baked tin can.
With a bloke who hasn’t slept properly since Wednesday.
And a coffee machine that sounds like it’s about to join Metallica.

No exposed brick.
No eucalyptus candles.
No silent disco.

Just:
☕ savage coffee
🥤 unholy milkshakes
🧠 a man held together by caffeine and spite

Milkshakes are back today.
They slow me down.
They test my faith.
But it’s 31 degrees and we’re all making bad decisions together.

If you’re from Melbourne and asking where the single origin Peruvian hand-massaged soy foam is…
This ain’t your church.

If you want a coffee that punches you awake and a shake that makes your Fitbit panic…
Welcome home.

Open early.
Unhinged by 8am.
Probably yelling at the grinder by 10.

Come see the patina tin can.
Come roast in the heat.
Come drink something cold and judge my life choices.

🤘🔥☕🥤
NO FILTER. NO DECOR. ALL BEANS.

23/01/2026

🚨 GLENMAGGIE MILKSHAKE GAMBLE DAY 🚨

While you lot are floating in the lake pretending you don’t have responsibilities…
I’m out here working my long weekend like a sunburnt dairy wizard.

Today is the first time I’ve ever attempted milkshakes in the van.
My equipment is not ready.
My confidence is reckless.
My spirit is caffeinated.

These milkshakes will either be:
🥤 A life-changing frozen revelation
🥤 Or a bold new chapter in my ongoing dysfunction
🥤 Or a crime against lactose

Flavours are strictly old-school:
🍌 Banana
🍓 Strawberry
🍫 Chocolate
🍦 Vanilla
☕ Coffee (because I refuse to be normal)

No refunds. Only stories.

It’s 33 degrees.
My parking spot got hijacked.
I’m running a roaming caffeine & milkshake operation like a heatwave warlord.

You’re on holiday.
I’m on espresso duty.
Together, we can make terrible decisions.

Come down, cool off, and take part in the experiment.
If they’re good, you’ll brag.
If they’re bad, you’ll bond with me forever.

Milkshakes are LIVE.
Barista is feral.
Dysfunction is now a menu item.

Find the caravan.
Follow the sound of the blender crying.

☕🔥🥤

22/01/2026

FRIDAY.
LONG WEEKEND.
NO MERCY.

If you’re starting this weekend without a proper coffee,
you’ve already fu*ked it, mate.

This vintage caffeine weapon is OPEN,
steam wand screaming,
beans getting absolutely bullied,
and the banter is set to FERAL.

No drive-thru dishwater.
No button-pushing “baristas”.
Just real coffee, real attitude,
and a cup strong enough to wake the dead and scare your boss.

Pull up.
Get wired.
Then go send this long weekend into orbit like the chaotic legend you are.

Heritage Coffee Van
Built in ’77.
Still offending people daily.

21/01/2026

SALE, WAKE UP. ☕🔥
The little vintage caravan with the big attitude is back and slinging the good stuff.

Real coffee.
Real banter.
Real barista.

Not that “press a button and pray” drive through disappointment you get from some places!
If your coffee comes out faster than a servo pie, we’re not the same. 😌

If your coffee doesn’t come with a side of sarcasm and a chance of emotional damage, are you even doing mornings right?

Find me at the BP on Raglan St.
Bring your tastebuds.
Leave your weak chain-store coffee habits at home.

Heritage Coffee Van
Serving beans, not bu****it.

20/01/2026

🚨 DAY 2 BACK AT BP 🚨
The Heritage Coffee Van has rolled out of bed, slapped itself with a double espresso, and chosen caffeinated violence ☕😤

If you’re still half asleep, emotionally fragile, or questioning your life choices…
Good.
That means you’re ready for coffee.

Toasties are hot.
Beans are angry.
Barista is unhinged.

Parked at BP Raglan St like a beige caffeine lighthouse for the lost and tired.

Come get fed.
Come get caffeinated.
Come get your s**t together.

OPEN NOW.
NO EXCUSES.
JUST COFFEE.

19/01/2026

🚨 BREAKING NEWS:
The Heritage Coffee Van has returned to civilisation.

After battling Christmas chaos, Glenmaggie caffeine addicts, and literal bushfires in Dargo…
your local barista menace is BACK at BP Raglan St and ready to emotionally support the region with espresso. ☕🔥

Holidays are over.
Your alarm clock hates you.
Your boss is annoying.
And your “home machine” tastes like regret.

Lucky for you, Gippsland’s most unhinged caffeine dealer is back on post.

No fancy influencer foam art.
No inspirational quotes.
Just filthy-good coffee, aggressive banter, and enough caffeine to resurrect your will to live.

2026?
Yeah nah, we’re not easing into it.
We’re kickstarting it with a double-shot and a bad attitude.

📍 BP Raglan St
⏰ Early. Like, tradie-early.
☕ Best coffee in the region (don’t @ me, I’m right)

Pull up.
Get buzzed.
Complain about life.
Repeat tomorrow.

—

12/01/2026

Hey legends,
Heritage Coffee Van will be taking a short break this week.

I’ve been called away with the CFA for a few days to help out with fire operations up near Dargo.

Apologies to anyone who was banking on their daily liquid personality upgrade. Trust me, I’d rather be slinging coffees than sleeping in a swag.

Look after yourselves, stay safe in this heat, and check in on your mates.
We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled chaos shortly. ☕🚒

03/01/2026

LAKE GLENMAGGIE… THAT’S A WRAP.

Hot days. Cold days. Wind that tried to steal my awning.
A Boxing Day Test I refuse to emotionally acknowledge.
And queues so long I briefly considered installing a ticket system like Centrelink.

You absolute legends drank all the coffee, demolished every last bit of fresh, homemade hot food from , and kept turning up like caffeinated gremlins on a mission.
No complaints. No tantrums. Just good vibes, sunburnt smiles and “one more coffee please, mate”.

AND YES… ABOUT THE QUEUE.
Sorry.
Not sorry.
Mostly sorry.

Sorry if you joined the line single, aged emotionally, and left with a partner and two kids.
Sorry if you could see the caravan but started questioning your life choices halfway through.
Sorry if you said “it’s all good, no rush” and then quietly checked your watch 17 times.

From early-morning zombies ☕️
To post-swim ferals 🏊‍♂️
To kids negotiating with parents like tiny lawyers for a milkshake…

It’s been a bloody pleasure slinging cups lakeside and watching the chaos unfold.
The coffee flowed.
The food sold out.
The queue nearly reached Warragul.

Lake Glenmaggie, you’ve been loud, patient, funny, and very, very thirsty.
Until next time… stay feral, stay kind, and never trust a day that doesn’t start with coffee.

🤘🔥☕️
— Heritage Coffee Van signing off (briefly… you know I’ll be back)

Heritage Coffee Van

29/01/2026

28/01/2026

27/01/2026

25/01/2026

24/01/2026

23/01/2026

22/01/2026

21/01/2026

20/01/2026

19/01/2026

12/01/2026

03/01/2026

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Monday	7am - 4pm
Tuesday	7am - 4pm
Wednesday	7am - 4pm
Thursday	7am - 3pm
Friday	7am - 4pm
Saturday	8am - 3pm
Sunday	8am - 3pm