Esmart Digital Concept

11/01/2019

# Jokes #
1. Wahala is when you are using desktop charger to charge your battery...you go set time & date until you tire
2.
I was so stressed when the girl I love so much told me she doesn't date guys that treks ...
I almost bought wheelchair
3. The smell from some girl's mouth can make Moses to wake up and add "Thou must brush your teeth daily" to the ten commandments.
Lemme run before this girls will stone me
4. Some girls be like "I don't like fake guys"...
My sister is that Brazilian hair you are putting on your own?
Is that your long eyelid your own?
Is your colour your own?
Yes you, am talking to you, I mean you, sister, you!
5..
Am annoyed with the way people mis-use changing of name option on Facebook.......
How can you break up with a girl now and she changed her name to BROKEN BOTTLE.
6. I just asked my new neighbor, "Do you know shawarma?" And she replied, "Must I know everybody?"
# Hmm_Amaka DisappointMe
7. When things starts to go well in your life, the devil gives you a girlfriend.
Satan will never rest
8. I love Ibadan tribal marks, they are the only ones that move around with the evidence of their father's land.
9. You are planning to buy iPhone 8 for your gf as New year gift, while you are still owing Mama Bashirah 250 naira food
money.
My friend have you seen how ur village people is using ur brain to download Instagram???
10. Some guys are just annoying. You will be trekking with your babe and be complaining that she is smiling with a guy inside a passing car
My brother are you okay?
11. Nigeria wee not kill me oooo.
Interviewer: So how far did you go with your education?
Johnson: Sir, I didn't go very fast, because our school was just behind our house. I just take the backyard and cut to school.
Interviewer: So you can pls take the door now
12. Pastor will wave hand and all the congregation will fall except the cameraman.
Edakun, is this one selective deliverance??
13. Fb Will be asking you "What is on your mind?"
Like they can solve Nigerians' problems
14. Nowadays girls prefer lies... Just tell them you are a Prince and BOOM she follows you like a bodyguard
15. If you wanna live long, borrow money from 5 people and they will surely remember u in their prayers
16. Try packaging a China phone in an iPhone pack and offer it to a girl
Wickedness in high places
17. Brother if there is nobody to hold hands with, put your hands in your pocket and continue working
R**e case is 30yrs imprisonment
18. You buy data No network
You don't have data , Full network . Witchcraft is real
19. In Nigeria a rich man will have one or two children... but a poor man will have 7children and still marry another wife join
Mentality of mad people!
20. Nigerian mothers can be annoying... My friend told his mom yesterday that he wanted to go to a friend's father funeral, and she was like, "You like pleasing people... How many times have they come to yours?" # WHAT_DA_HELL !!
21. Battery full and you expect me to remove my phone from the charger when there is still light?? It's like you don't know we are in Nigeria
22. When you are not fasting you can stay till afternoon without feeling hungry.
But when you are fasting, even Tv remote will be looking like gala in your eyes... Is that not witchcraft??
23. Buhari for 2019!!!!!!!!!
Even ur Shadow will migrate to London
My mouth eh
24.
Nowadays, girls will put flowers on their heads when they are on social media, but they feel very shy to carry vegetables to sell for their mothers.
Nonsense
25. I walked to a bus stop and met a lady whom I presumed was also waiting for a cab. We waited for what seemed like ages, until the girl sighed and said. "These Nigerian cab drivers eh..." I was like, ''Are you not from Nigeria? She said, "No ooo! GOD FORBID!" That she is from Imo state!
Fadalurd! Take my spirit!!
26. During harmattan seasons, when you shake hands with some people, you start wondering whether they walk with their palm
27. Rubbish upon Rubbish!!!
You will buy rice with meat,plantain and egg and the seller will be like "Bros is that all?"
No ma, add ice-block, charcoal and mosquito
lap.
28. Dear sister, ur boyfriend without an international passport told u he is going to take u around the world and u are happy don't worry he means sambisa forest mtcheww, I hate rubbish

21/07/2018

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31/05/2018

Frsc Recruitment 2018/2019 Form |
Federal Road safety corps Recruitment Form is ongoing

04/10/2017

THAT YOU ARE POOR TODAY IS NOT AN
OFFENCE. BY GODS PLANS AND DESIGN , YOU
SHOULD GET RICH TIME AFTER TIME.
MOVEMENT IS GODS PLAN FOR HIS PEOPLE. SO
IF YOUR RESULT IS THE SAME AS LAST YEAR
SOMETHING IS WRONG.
IN OTHER FOR YOU TO KNOW HOW TO STEP UP,
WHEN TO STEP UP, IT IS IMPORTANT YOU KNOW
THE NATURE OF GLORY
A NATURE OF A THING IS THE LOOK OF THE
THING, THE CHARACTERISTICS OF THE THING.
> WHAT YOU SEE DETERMINED WHAT YOU
BECOME
THE GLORY OF THE LORD IS THE SHOW HOUSE
OF THE WONDERS OF GOD
GLORY REFERS TO HONOUR, BEAUTY AND
SPLENDOR
YOU CANNOT BE IN CHRIST AND YOU ARE
WORST THAN THEM.
YOU ARE NOT JUST A CHRISTIAN TO MAKE
HEAVEN.
YOU ARE A CHRISTIAN TO SHOW FORTH THE
GLORY OF GOD......1 PETER 2: 9
IF YOU ARE LIVING IN FAILURE YOU ARE ARE
NOT SHOWING FORTH THE GLORY OF GOD
WHEN HIS GLORY COMES UPON YOU.....
1: YOU WILL BECOME VERY ATTRACTIVE.
> AS YOU BECOME ATTRACTIVE NOTE THIS....
YOU WILL ATTRACT BOTH THE THE GOOD AND
THE BAD. YOU NEED ALL OF THEM TO MAKE IT.
2: GET SET FOR BATTLE
> ON YOUR WAY TO GLORY YOU CAN NEVER BE
FREE FROM BATTLES BUT NO MATTER WHAT
THEY DO, WHEN IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO MOVE
YOU WILL MOVE
3: YOUR GLORY IS A THREAT TO THE DEVIL.
> YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO PUT YOUR
ENEMIES WHERE THEY BELONG
I PRAY FOR YOU TODAY, EVERY BATTLE YOUR
GLORY WILL ATTRACT, GOD WILL EMPOWER
YOU TO OVERCOME THEM IN THE NAME OF
JESUS
# GRACEWIN
# GRACEATWORK
# CELEBRATEGRACE
# FLYINGONTHEWINGSOFGRACE

03/10/2017

IT'S AN ERROR FOR YOU TO BE IN THE MIDST
OF BLESSED PERSONS AND BE POOR.
IT'S AN ERROR TO BE UNDER GRACE AND BE
DISGRACE.
YOU SERVE A GOD THAT IS THE MOST HIGH.
YOU CAN'T BE THE MOST LOW.....MATHEW
5:13-16
TO EXPERIENCE GOD'S GLORY, THEY MUST BE A
PROGRESSIVE POWER AND A SHIFTING
ANOINTING SO THAT YOU CAN MOVE HIGHER.
MOVING UP IN LIFE AND DESTINY, IS GOD'S
DESIRE FOR MAN KIND.
IT MIGHT LOOK AS IF YOUR MATE ARE AHEAD
OF YOU NOW, BUT IT DOES NOT MATTER, IS
NOT ABOUT WHO START FIRST IT'S ABOUT WHO
END WELL. WORD FOR THOUGHT!!!
GOD BE PRAISE

11/09/2017

ADVICE People will see a man washing his clothes and instead of minding their business, they will say "Ah go and marry so you will stop washing".

They will see a man cooking and be like "Bro, you need to get married so you can stop cooking".

A mother will look at his 35years old son who cannot wash his own boxers, boil water for tea or even make his own bed....a 35years old that cannot take his own plate to the kitchen after eating and tell him "James, you need to settle down...get a woman to take care of you"

In different ways, the society subconsciously tell men they don't marry women for any reason other than cleaning, cooking and childbearing.
I begin to wonder, does average Nigerian men need a wife or glorified maid?

Many women looks 3times their age because of stress and exhaustion.
You sit down in front of TV with your phone and watch your wife work until she is about to pass out.

Men, who told you that it is wrong to wash plates?
Who told you it is wrong to wash your own clothes?
Who told you it is wrong to dress your bed when you wake up?
What will it take to help your partner with the chores in the house?

If a man wanted to be adopted as a child to be pet, pampered, fed and nursed. Then he need not to seek marriage, he should rather offer himself up for an adoption at a motherless home to be pick up.

If you want a wife, then get a wife.
But if you are getting married because you feel you are becoming too old to do your own chores, then get a MAID.

Please !

10/09/2017

S*X IS FOOD !!!
S*x is not all about making children. You must be
a different woman to your husband every time.
Seduce your husband, don't always allow your
husband to ask for S*x, there must be no
timetable for s*x. Be creative, don't be
predictable. Give him what he wants. If you loose
influence over your husband, you have lost
womanhood. Be part of your husband plans.
Don't have too many children, you wanna sell
them ? Allow your husband to check in and out
anytime.
When a man is s*xually satisfied, he is
emotionally stable. Stop saying, is it food ? Yes,
s*x is food !!!
As a wife, try to invest in yourself spiritually so
you can adequately support him. Build yourself as
his prayer warrior so that you will not be forced
to pray at the end of your life. Don't allow your
husband to provide all your needs, he is not a
money making machine. Iron sharpens iron, try to
reciprocate.
You are meant to support each other spiritually,
financially, physically and morally through thick
and thin. You are a builder....Wise woman
buildeth her home. Women need wisdom to build
their homes. Do not be too outspoken, know
when to talk, when to listen and when to be
quiet.
Loveyour husband with all your heart, never tell
him, if not because of my children, remember
you've known him before the arrival of those
children.
Pamper your husband, put his head on your chest
and pray for him. Give him unannounced kiss
from the back.... mwahhhhhh, don't be too holy
to kiss in the public. He is your husband for God
sake. Be romantic joooo, it is good for the heart.
Some people are not happy that you're happy in
that marriage, proof them wrong that you love
him and he is your crown, always feel good when
you hold him. Don't look 50 while you're still
under 40, it drives men crazy. Always keep fit
regardless of your age or body.
To men:
Do not take a woman who does all these for
granted!
Pamper her, pray for her, cherish her, love her,
support her financially, make her feel like your
woman! God bless you and your marriages.
God Be Praise!

10/09/2017

S*X IS FOOD !!!
S*x is not all about making children. You must be
a different woman to your husband every time.
Seduce your husband, don't always allow your
husband to ask for S*x, there must be no
timetable for s*x. Be creative, don't be
predictable. Give him what he wants. If you loose
influence over your husband, you have lost
womanhood. Be part of your husband plans.
Don't have too many children, you wanna sell
them ? Allow your husband to check in and out
anytime.
When a man is s*xually satisfied, he is
emotionally stable. Stop saying, is it food ? Yes,
s*x is food !!!
As a wife, try to invest in yourself spiritually so
you can adequately support him. Build yourself as
his prayer warrior so that you will not be forced
to pray at the end of your life. Don't allow your
husband to provide all your needs, he is not a
money making machine. Iron sharpens iron, try to
reciprocate.
You are meant to support each other spiritually,
financially, physically and morally through thick
and thin. You are a builder....Wise woman
buildeth her home. Women need wisdom to build
their homes. Do not be too outspoken, know
when to talk, when to listen and when to be
quiet.
Loveyour husband with all your heart, never tell
him, if not because of my children, remember
you've known him before the arrival of those
children.
Pamper your husband, put his head on your chest
and pray for him. Give him unannounced kiss
from the back.... mwahhhhhh, don't be too holy
to kiss in the public. He is your husband for God
sake. Be romantic joooo, it is good for the heart.
Some people are not happy that you're happy in
that marriage, proof them wrong that you love
him and he is your crown, always feel good when
you hold him. Don't look 50 while you're still
under 40, it drives men crazy. Always keep fit
regardless of your age or body.
To men:
Do not take a woman who does all these for
granted!
Pamper her, pray for her, cherish her, love her,
support her financially, make her feel like your
woman! God bless you and your marriages.