28/09/2026
You don't see how you could be carrying a loss you did not directly go through ? Here are some exemples:
1️⃣ Your parents decided to leave their countries of origin to give you a better life, and you were brought up in a colonial power that is responsible for holding back your countries' growth. You see the nostalgia and melancholy on your parents' faces when you mention home and traditions. You want to learn more to feel more connected to your cultures, but as you were growing up, the focus was on getting you to integrate well. You feel like something is missing somehow, yet you only have ever known one home.
2️⃣ You were a kid asking questions as curious kids do, and you see the expression on your grandma's face change suddenly when you ask her "what happened to your big brother teta?" She looks at you, says that "he returned to God". What she doesn't say is that he was killed during a war, in a bombing. Now, you are an adult, you rarely think about this story, yet, for some reason, eventhough you have never known direct bombings, loud noises make you jumpy.
3️⃣ You have the strong desire to have a baby. It is the right time for you as everything is stable in your life and you and your partner are finally ready. And yet the more you think about it and the more a sense of imminent danger builds up inside you. Turns out, your mother gave birth to a still-born baby before having you. She was so scared to lose you too as she was carrying you to term.
What are the tansgenerational losses you suspect you carry?
💜 I am Dania, 🇫🇷🇱🇧🇹🇳 grief counselor & transgenerational analyst for the Arab diaspora. My approach is both decolonial and spiritual.
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